Taylor Reed

[doomer @uncledoomer]

football pregame commentary is always like "yeah if this team wants to win, theyre gonna have to score some points"

[Matty @bestestname]

Big baking soda convinced us to buy their product and just put it places but never use it

[Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking]

don't forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

[Jamie @spacej_me]

Everyday is a new adventure in the ER

[Brooke Lin @Brooke_Lin1]

USPS tracking:
Step 1: we don't think it exists
Step 2: delivered

[alfie @alfienxo]

sorry for how i acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time

[New Liberals 🇺🇦🇹🇼🌐 @CNLiberalism]

Opening up Twitter after spending all afternoon in meetings:

[Captain Obvious™️ @TheFungi669]

RFK, Jr. : “Children who are vaccinated miss out on a lot of things in life.”

Yeah, like measles, pertussis, diphtheria, tuberculosis, tetanus and rubella.

[hootie @hootietheeowl]

when i ask my bf why i do not have a grievance portal:

[Glen O'Humeral @HumeralO]

So is life

[Sopranos World @SopranosWorld]

Seasonal depression “isn’t real” until you get a warm day in February and realize you’ve been dead inside for months

[Cannie Oakley: Local Cryptid @Staceballs]

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman

[𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐲 🃏 is reading GOT @playym8te]

i wonder what they laughing at on tik tok rn.

[Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp]

my body: please we are begging you to eat a vegetable or drink a single glass of water

me looking at the christmas cookie tray:

[Michael Justus @mhjrad]

Bone: *has a tiny bump in it*

Scientists naming it:

[bear @wriocake]

this is humiliating

[Cons @CaptainCons]

The Griswolds allowing both sets of parents to arrive 10 DAYS before Christmas is the most ridiculous part of the movie

[Robby Baber❤️‍🔥 @rlbaber22]

I’d always wondered what happen to those guys!