Taylor

mostly here for the jokes ✌🏼

[Jim Geraghty @jimgeraghty]

"But a goal will not count if a player is offsides."

"When is a player offsides?"

"Whenever anything exciting happens."

[Irma Fernandez @irmafernandez]

Me watching the German guy tweet about his time in the South:

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

“CEO of Hot Pockets ™ says that ‘most, if not all’ meals will be fully replaced with Hot Pockets ™ within the next 12 to 18 months”

[Jarvis @jarvis_best]

Olympic skiers are like “I have 2% body fat. I train 23 hours a day. I have had 87 surgeries” and Olympic snowboarders are like “I have smoked this many drugs today” and they hold up their hand which is in a mitten.

[Jay Alto @theJayAlto]

you pity the moth confusing a lamp for the moon, yet here you are confusing a screen for the world

[Adriana Porter Felt @__apf__]

reading is a great hobby because it lets you bedrot with moral superiority

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

Aliens (completely bewildered): so the groundhog

Me: is clairvoyant, yes

[Jon Gabriel @exjon]

There goes my spring break in Ouagadougou.

[𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐠 @CasuallyGreg]

Human beings can still commit fraud, Evan.

[Matthew @regionalthicko]

Fuck it it’s Christmas

[Joe McBob @MrJoeMcBob]

I read the whole article, and it made me hate the culture of internet vigilantism even more. Somewhere along the way, we decided that being bad to someone we felt was deserving of it made us good people. And it's all been downhill since there.

This wasn't someone who shouted racial slurs at a stranger. This was someone who had what should've been an issue relevant to their families, and instead the mob thought they were doing "justice" by destroying her life and traumatizing her children.

[trev @BayAreaTrev]

A map of who America is rooting for in the World Series

[Wyatt 蜥蜴王 @MKElite_]

Remaining teams in the Postseason

[Wrigley Field @ofcwrigleyfield]

Sweet dreams.

[Chicago Cubs @Cubs]

October is why.

(Narrated by Anthony Rizzo)

[Chicago Cubs @Cubs]

W.

[Tim Urban @waitbutwhy]

Very few of us know the people at the tip of the spear. We can make the biggest impact by uniting against the handle, making that behavior far more taboo than it is now.

[Ezra Klein @ezraklein]

In the last few years we've seen:

- The plot to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer
- The Storming of the Capitol and pipe bombs left at the RNC and DNC
- The break-in to kidnap Nancy Pelosi and the brutal on Paul Pelosi
- Multiple assassination attempts against Trump
- The assassination of Minnesota House Speaker Melissa Hortman and her husband and the shooting of on State Senator John Hoffman and his wife
- Luigi Mangione's assassination of Brian Thompson
- The assassination of Charlie Kirk

Political violence is contagious. It is spreading. It is not confined to one side or belief system. It should terrify us all.

The foundation of a free society is the ability to participate in it without fear of violence. Political violence is always an attack against us all. You have to be so blind not to see that.

[George W. Bush Presidential Center @TheBushCenter]

Statement by President George W. Bush:

"Today, a young man was murdered in cold blood while expressing his political views. It happened on a college campus, where the open exchange of opposing ideas should be sacrosanct. Violence and vitriol must be purged from the public square. Members of other political parties are not our enemies; they are our fellow citizens. May God bless Charlie Kirk and his family, and may God guide America toward civility."