lowbur

[lonnie @aubreyplazawyd]

If they put me on love island I’d start eating people

[connor @ConnorEatsPants]

i just ran over Jennifer Aniston with my car @TMZ jennifer aniston from Friends has died

[howdy bitch @looksalotlikeme]

I heard a24 got the rights to squidward’s suicide

[maya @mayaviatwitta]

kicking ice under the fridge about it

[helen @helen]

air dropping this to the cop in front of me in the check out line at albertsons

[garshmo @garshmo]

Omg you cry so ugly please face the wall

[Lena @chancevisitors]

[offering nothing of value] new york needs me

[ً @ImAVeteran_]

Do I even love the stripper

[fran @postfran_]

If I was in sex and the city they would’ve called it nothing and the shithole

[Skurt Vonnegut @ThisLocalHater]

Can't wait to get really old and drive my car into the side of a Dairy Queen

[weather @dsxf234161]

white people when you yuck their yum

[Marked As “Unsafe Individual” @tom_on_here]

The grinch probably got so much hole after he returned all The Who’s stuff

[Sam Evans @SamEvansArt444]

Is this all there is?

[alien @alienincrisis]

abducting couples is funny they always blame each other

[Skurt Vonnegut @ThisLocalHater]

Hey, my boyfriend and I noticed you from across the bar and we were wondering if you have any Dyatlov Pass theories

[swinky @swinkying]

the mold in my water bottle Told me to bite an electrical cord

[Aurora 🐊 @SpectralAurora_]

niggas be like "how can you hate subway, you made the sandwich" BECAUSE THE INGREDIENTS ARE MADE OF SHARK DICK AND LADYBUG PUSSY

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

going to the bathroom at 3am using a middle school classmate's linkedin profile as a flashlight

[Mike Truk ⛁ @Wallop4000]

Your Testicles are Literally Filled With Hundreds of Thousands of Evil Slithering Beasts and that is Why You are Like This