marqs

[marqs @TedioAlguem]

#NewProfilePic

[vi @sirensicaI]

@blacknredtext

[jake @wormpuller]

Going on Joe Rogan Experience to see how many Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode plot lines I can get him to accept as true stories

[seiya @seiyaposting]

I used to think this shit was so funny a year ago

[Chester Barnabiss @barnmuckin]

@W_B_Rick Fella, they knew you were soft the moment you booked them.

[Karen McGee @karenmotherof2]

The vibes at a men’s bathroom at a wedding is the closest you’ll get to a locker room after high school

[Thomas White @len0killer]

If I was a military commander we would be taking heavy casualties at all times, often for little or no gain. Lots of injuries as well

[manic nixon dream girl @kennixonette]

stephen king died instantly when he watched the shining because it accurately depicted dry drunk/relapsed alcoholic behaviour and he couldn't handle it

[carolina 🍒 @heartsfordnp]

english cigarettes after sex call that fag post shag

[gio @lestatway]

Started crying at the Spider-Man movie and the couple next to me goes “I forgot people take this seriously”

[Amber @bloodberry_tart]

when a woman bites you really hard for no reason that’s a sign of affection in her culture

[erin chack @ErinChack]

You ARE too old and it IS too late. Also you have a very specific vocal tic that strangers notice immediately and friends do unsavory impressions of.

[s @shuakeful]

im sorry i think im pretty woke but Retard is a word i cant remove from my vocabulary ever

[Kyle @KylHuntrBaily]

@maizie_star new in the lexicon for sure

Them: oh cool, How was xyz new restaurant?

Me: it was solid for sure. had me jackin, but not cummin

Them: please stop talking to us like that

[marqs @TedioAlguem]

@Camis028 Eu tô nessa vibe, n posso beber ent to tendo até q beber drink virgem pra passar a vontade

[matt @ruffledsavior]

the last time i really loved a woman she lovebombed me, manipulated me, and used my deepest insecurities against me in the bedroom. i can't even bring myself to date anymore because i don't think i'll ever find someone that awesome again

[assis @assisy7]

@vlucasrocha Presenciou a segunda guerra e o sixseven na mesma vida