Max Thomas

The official Twitter of someone of little significance.

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

People fucking suck.

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@Zaxbys @griffinmcelroy @travismcelroy @JustinMcElroy OMG!!!! The honor is all mine. I can't believe that @Zaxbys is officially the unofficial official chicken restaurant of me. This is the best day ever! I'd like to thank the Brothers McElroy, Guy On A Buffalo, the hedgehog, the fox, and, of course, Zaxby's. It's chicken time!

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@griffinmcelroy @travismcelroy @JustinMcElroy The "Guy On A Buffalo" remix has instantly upped my (already pretty massive) love AND respect for @Zaxbys, the unofficial official chicken restaurant of @themaxthomas

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@HenryLovesYou can't make it to the show in Norfolk tomorrow, but I'd love to gift you some of the fine greenery I'm now able to grow here in VA. Also if y'all are looking for a great dinner spot, I work at a new restaurant three blocks from the venue. We'd love to have you guys.

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@BobAndHisDog I don't. It's really nice to not have everything I own covered in flour all the time.

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@BobAndHisDog Dude, that's day one shit right there.

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@Breandcomposure Oh my god, Brie, I fucking miss you and I love you and I really hope you're doing well.

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

This place is fucking toxic. Why am I even here? Everyone hates everyone. The memes aren't even that good.

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

Venus de Milo and Otis Redding California Pizza Kitchen Confidential.

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

This is an actual fact.

[Colleen Green @colleengreen420]

Guess what? Dude Ranch is a perfect album 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@BobAndHisDog this is the video I was telling you aboot.

[Heath Enwright @HeathEnwright]

Best passerby ever!

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@BobAndHisDog Um actually, I do #Check #AndMate

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@BobAndHisDog wasting food like there ain't millions of hungry people all over the planet #CancelHim

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@HenryLovesYou @marcusparks @BenKissel about to settle in for a little light reading before bed.

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@TheIrishJihad A lot higher and and lot longer, too.

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@BobAndHisDog Prove it

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@Dr_ThomasZ @ISS_Research @Space_Station @NASA_Astronauts The tardigrade is so amazing I got one tattooed on me #LiveSlowDieNever

[whalefact @awhalefact]

whales are almost always the bigger person

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@BobAndHisDog For real, if you die who's going to chronicle my heroic exploits in MSPaint-style imagery?

[Max Thomas @themaxthomas]

@NotAShowPod Wait, @gossgoss6 is a cop!?!?