chillin cumvillian

[mason⸆⸉ 🌊☁️ | petal 7.31 @portofino_view]

why is dick van dyke an acceptable name but pussy van faggot isn’t

[sliccmic 𖤐 @sliccmic]

i swear to god people in nyc finger their asshole and rub it all over their clothes and go on public transport

[Old Man Rattle @oldrattle_]

my favorite part about arby’s is how they let you pay with your body

[Old Man Rattle @oldrattle_]

white people be like turn on your hotspot

[dennis @dennismacelroy]

I’ve killed 13 aliens in the past month and they all looked exactly like regular human beings

[phlip @MrPerfectPhilip]

Apparently, you’re not supposed to comment “nightmare blunt rotation” on your ex’s Instagram with a picture of her husband and new baby

[Jack Subpar @SuisizeMe]

Flipping through the titles on hulu, making a point to scroll past brokeback mountain at the exact same tempo as the other films, not gayly slow or homophobicly fast

[𝓽𝓭𝓭𝔂 🐾 @popup_tddy]

I hate when people in movies take two drags of a cigarette and then put it out, like damn there are cigaretteless children in Africa

[PERVERTBALLMASTER3000 @snqped]

How do I download the sex mod in real life

[josh @joshypooper]

situationship stabbed me but the police reported it as a domestic violence incident 👀 #ouushiii #whatarewe

[buth’s hole @warm__hole]

A lot of people don’t know this but you can swallow your AirPods like pills. If you want

[grace @gracefishlove]

idk i think the elephant really ties the room together

[Old Man Rattle @oldrattle_]

forcing my uber driver to play skrillex at knifepoint

[chillin cumvillian @themessiah67]

@gracefishlove Grace your creative don't do anything I wouldn't do

[wicked wigger of the west @Nick_Cerveza]

Chinese sauces are so addictive. It is impossible for my white mind to resist their incredible foreign taste

[maxwell like from scribblenauts @chaos6578]

Unstoppable goon rod vs unplappable wobblemeat

[grace @gracefishlove]

When there’s a long line for the bathroom so you know it’s gonna be really good

[Old Man Rattle @oldrattle_]

waterboarding my autistic son with shirley temple 7up

[parry mecium @parry_mecium]

I don’t get why they make all floss picks blood flavored