David Jordan Nestor

I work in the theatre industry.

Pronouns: he eats cookies/give him cookies/those are his cookies.

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

I'm glad I can't smell all the pee that the dog can smell.

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

@TheCinesthetic Drop Dead Gorgeous

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

Haldeman's found guilty,
Ehrlichman is too,
Mitchell, Colson, and Dean take a dive,
Nixon 5

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

@kevin_nealon Ain't no rule says a mechanic can't play basketball

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

@MerriamWebster Now do "titmouse"

[tanya @Tanya_Sabrinaaa]

talk to your doctor about wegozil. shout at your doctor about blarpo. whisper with your doctor about cixyl. show your doctor the sign (👌🤦‍♀️👏) for flonartil. laugh with your doctor about wexadry. email your doctor about drongle. glance meaningfully at your doctor about floova

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

Accidentally doing CPR to the beat of "Dead Man's Party" instead of "Stayin' Alive"

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

A head of his time

[Sachin Jose @Sachinettiyil]

Robert Rooney, who practiced law for 30 years before entering seminary, was ordained a priest for the Archdiocese of Kansas City in Kansas.

Image: Pope St John XXIII National Seminary

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

@elaine_stritch Wait what? Not Imelda Staunton? We love hers!

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

@Bob_Janke I meant questions about the menu

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

@Trad_West_Art I watched a true crime episode about a girl named Maryann Measles last night and thought about this tweet

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

Does Avia even make shoes anymore or just crossword clues?

[Emmett Stinson @EmmettStinson]

The real 'penguin classics' are probably fish.

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

Almost 15 years later, I have the same question...

[Adam W Lancaster @adamwlancaster]

Is the plural of Splenda, splendas or Splenda or splendae? #fb

[Kevin Nealon @kevin_nealon]

Take a break from nature
look at your phone

[jos @josiahhughes]

never understood this obsession with building 15 minute cities. why not just build one big one?

for this tweet to work, please pronounce “minute” like my-NOOT(/maɪˈnjuːt/)

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

@planet4589 It just says "left with a neighbor"?

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

@SPACEdotcom What the hell? I ordered dog treats

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

@TechCrunch I complained and they said to just keep it or give it away

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

@CBSNews Amazon customer service please help

[David Jordan Nestor @thenestor]

@blueorigin The hell? I ain't taking this to Whole Foods