but wait!

call now and i'll send you another tweet completely FREE! (just pay s&h)

[but wait! @theresmore_]

where's j.g. wentworth at?? i need cash now

[but wait! @theresmore_]

@1GodrFather @ABC7Chicago yes it is you fuckin idiot

[but wait! @theresmore_]

one lesson I've learned in life is if someone avidly tells you they are an evil narcissist, you should probably believe them

[I Dissent @DissentFu]

I am 52 years old. I have been working since I was 15 years old. I have no savings, no retirement, and will never own a home before I die.

And there is now a trillionaire.

[NWS Chicago @NWSChicago]

A corridor of destructive winds, potentially up to 80+ mph, are racing across portions of Cook County, including Chicago and is capable of embedded tornadoes! Seek shelter if in the warned area until the storms pass through! #ILwx

[but wait! @theresmore_]

@SeryphFanfics I'm St.

[໊ @user0000O0]

does anyone know where i can get a relaxed nervous system

[alien @alienincrisis]

this body requires maintenance i do not emotionally agree with

[Keegs @lordesghoul]

Someone forgot their rotisserie chicken outside Ann Sathers on Belmont, if you lost ur rotisserie chicken it is outside Anne Sathers on Belmont

[State of New York @NYGov]

it’s hole filling season

[kofi annan @poemPilled]

I try to tell people Chicago isn't that windy but lowkey sometimes it is

[saddy mayonnaise @saddymayo]

We’ve gotta ban the teenagers.

Choking does not equal strangulation.
Anal sex rules.
Blowjobs also rule.
I have phenomenal sex because I enjoy it.
If you don’t like it, it’s fine, but leave everyone else alone.

[Dive Diva 🖤 @chicagodivediva]

Meet me at the Epcot section of O’Hare

[Pearl Rose @hipearlrose]

and she is NOT havin a lot of sex

[🎭 @deepfates]

It's called "brutalism with plants", everybody loves it but it's actually very hard to maintain. because plants don't like concrete and concrete doesn't like plants 🤷

[サメQCU @sameQCU]

ah what the hell the anti-adhd peptide thing is REAL. they might have found the causal driver for 'adhd', and it's basically entirely sleep-wake-cycle stuff (???) which explains a lot tbh

[hamsta @goobygirl2]

when nothing is ever reciprocated so i just kill myself

[Hadi @lolnvmtho]

nobody ever talks about how empty your day feels after you stop talking to someone who was a part of your daily routine

[S @Shaliiniiiii]

Being depressed and still funny is actually a talent.