Sam Hendry

I do stand up and enjoy a good nap.

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

This is going to be my pinned tweet.

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

You ever start googling evidence to support the fake argument you’re having in your head?

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

@NickBloomerBro Your oven’s POV:

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

Yesterday, I heard a woman say she was 28 and a half.

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

I can either listen or I can sit still. I can’t do both. Pick one.

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

Thanks again @bunniplague Keep being awesome!!!

[Bunni (Hiatus! 💖) @bunniplague]

I don't know how many scares my poor heart can take...my body ain't built for horror and scares. 🤣 We teleported our fam over to @thesamhendry playing the OG Half Life! We continue down the rails tomorrow!

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

@scottieXR 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

@NickBloomerBro

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

Here’s my hot take:

Only women should be allowed to have guns.

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

@eeldavis

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

Sometimes I’ll just be staring at the sky and think, “That’s fake.”

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

@MegWallaceLISW I like this energy. Keep the world guessing.

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

I don’t buy into the propaganda that you have to pair and fold your socks. I toss them all loose in one drawer. I will fight someone over this.

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

@NickBloomerBro Looks like you’ve been brainwashed by Big Sock.

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

“Time is a flat circle.” No, you’re thinking of a clock.

[Hunter Gardner @HunnaGardnah]

My novel about two high school best friends who start an underground drug ring in suburban North Carolina earned me .20 cents in residuals.

I’m still really proud of it.

You can get an ebook version for $5 here: https://t.co/nqq7reYxAo

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

@NickBloomerBro “Man found dead today after not being able to punch holes in paper. Video at 11.”

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

A homeless lady was walking by as I’m setting up tables. She pulled one of those hole punches for documents out of her cart, held it up and said, “Do you need this?” I said, “No, but thank you.” She said, “Alright baby” and kept walking. Good to know she looking out for me.

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

If I had a time machine I would use it to pause time and take like a 6-hour nap.

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

No one coughs louder than a person trying to let you know they’re too sick to work their shift.

[Sam Hendry @TheSamHendry]

When you listen to 100 episodes of a podcast and finally see what the hosts look like and it doesn’t match up with how you imagined them looking: