callie

here for the pizza, the gospel, and the music

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Congratulations to all the Democratic candidates who won tonight. It’s a reminder that when we come together around strong, forward-looking leaders who care about the issues that matter, we can win. We’ve still got plenty of work to do, but the future looks a little bit brighter.

[Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris]

This Fourth of July, I am taking a moment to reflect. Things are hard right now. They are probably going to get worse before they get better.

But I love our country — and when you love something, you fight for it. Together, we will continue to fight for the ideals of our nation.

[callie @thisissupercal]

googling the bacteria I’m sick with so I can visualize what my antibiotics and white blood cells are fighting… it’s a team effort

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

people who drive faster than me? reckless lunatics. people who drive slower than me? annoying cowards. and me? perfect, as per usual

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

Trump berates Zelensky, the leader of a democratic country courageously fighting Russian imperialism, while he allies himself with Putin, a dictator who started the bloodiest European war in 80 years.

Sorry, President Trump. We believe in democracy, not authoritarianism.

[callie @thisissupercal]

as a chronic farter there are few things better than getting in your car at the end of a long work day and letting it rip

[ur hot dad @eikcinek]

white ppl popped off with jeez la weez

[callie @thisissupercal]

you have a gun to your head and they ask you to tell them the difference between mean, median, and mode. you dying?

[callie @thisissupercal]

“its Opposite Day” was the best supporting argument in middle school

[callie @thisissupercal]

I would not wish working at USPS on my worst enemy. come 3pm every USPS in the country is a war zone

[callie @thisissupercal]

how did I not know I had anxiety when at 10 years old I worried about how long to wait to open my mouth after they said “close” on the suction piece at the dentist

[callie @thisissupercal]

never mess with a man whose face card declines unless his credit card never does

[callie @thisissupercal]

@postmasloan I’m just a girl

[callie @thisissupercal]

call me Spotify the way I wanna wrap u in my arms

[callie @thisissupercal]

@BloodHunter_mb kys

[callie @thisissupercal]

@dreamsecretclub me when I got a ticket 😎

[callie @thisissupercal]

@BloodHunter_mb at least like the tweet if you’re gonna be a hater

[callie @thisissupercal]

Europeans will really hate on Americans and in the same breath call a crepe a pancake