Jon Greene

Often Awed. Partly Pessimistic. Always Opinionated

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

Just in! @Saints place Sir Saint & Gumbo on the injured/Covid-19 after Sir Saint reported mild symptoms and worms were found in Gumbo’s stool. Sources report Saints reached out to @GrittyNHL hoping to lure the only mascot possibly immune to NOLA’s mix of plague and hard living.

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

R&D: hey boss, remember when we put yoga matt material in our bread?
EXEC: yes.
R&D: we’ve got a new idea and it’s even better!
EXEC:

https://t.co/MVjnJ27WnF

[Dirty Coast Press @dirtycoast]

New Orleans watching the news today like

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

“BUT ANTIFAAAAAAS😭😭😭”

[eternal tiffie ̊ ∘˚˳°✧ @TiffieStarchild]

Don’t ask us to explain white privilege anymore

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

How many of today’s terrorists at the capital got their first taste when they tore down Woodstock 2 as teenagers?

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

@BrittanyActs Nope. Nope. Nope

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

@BrittanyActs Ugh Hogan is such a turd. You know that move was so he could run in 2024. Yawn to the max

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

Behold the reporter who spent HS cast as “chorus” in the musical. You only got a split second to shoot your shot and make sure they all hear your brilliant ad-lib

[Pratik @PatelESPN]

i’ve been in some crazy media scrums. you can’t teach this kind of timing in a tight window. this is a kevin love outlet pass. this is rodgers sideline to jared cook. this is le’veon bell level patience before hitting the gap.

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

I really wish tonight’s debate was being performed by the crank-Yankers puppets. I’d much rather watch it that way.

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

@SleepyPanda76 I don’t agree and I don’t disagree with her decision. I do agree with your point: it’s complicated. But All these un-nuanced “should-have” arguments sure do drive me bonkers.

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

In Louisiana a current law already allows absentee voting for convenience in some circumstances: a duck hunting trip, for example. Let they absurd hypocrisy sink in.

[Mandy Patinkin @PatinkinMandy]

Our friend Pamela just told us that “According to Jewish tradition, a person who dies on Rosh Hashanah, which began tonight, is a tzaddik, a person of great righteousness.” We found that very comforting. So strange to be eating these apples and honey with this sadness.

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

Save the extra payroll tax money from now till December bc from jan to April you’ll have it (double) deducted from your paycheck. He’s trying to buy your approval and charge you when he’s in the clear.

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

@Ezraw0 @ActionBenz @MikeWolfraim1 @pattymo @PFTompkins What about his amazing cameo as the mattress king in “Punch Drunk Love” equally absurd with a great slapstick commercial cut from the movie (see: truck, guitar, car with mattresses)

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

Simplify the argument: do you believe in the law part of “law and order?” Follow it with: Rittenhouse was not legally allowed to carry that weapon and bc he shot someone he must be tried in a court of law. When they spin out, repeat this point over and over. They’ll go nuts.

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

So @NBCNews how are you going to fix the incredible amount of damage and misinformation that you are now responsible for?

Because a 1:15am tweet to slip under the radar after blowing up a totally false and divisive narrative across networks isn’t it.

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

“Barack and I and our girls” has the same affect on me as when mr. Rogers said “hello boys and girls.” Time to listen and learn

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

All I can hear is the omniscient narrator of “Seabiscuit” saying: “in a time when America really needed a drink no one could get one.”

[Jon Greene @thisjongreene]

Right now feels like we’re getting the 30s and the 60s at the same time.