Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions

He/him, nerd, painter of miniatures, maker of terrain, bad at selling hisself on socials. DM for prices. On Mastodon [email protected]

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

Everton have scored fewer Premier League points in February than their own legal team

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

King Charles's cancerous growth has the opportunity to do one of the funniest things possible

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

In case there weren't enough reasons to like Jude Bellingham

https://t.co/HuoHeLse2W

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

Ian Miles Cheong First Recipient of Neuralink Thanks to Inherently Low Risk of Damaging Intellect https://t.co/d39eGlzYxF

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

Yeah, it might be all that you get
Yeah, I guess this might well be it

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

January 31st 1994 is, truly, an auspicious date

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

Happy 30th birthday to Star Trek TNG officially running out of ideas and having Beverley Crusher getting interrupted while fucking a Scottish candle ghost

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

@RiseburyCrisis God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

@Kopology This is why it's being announced now. Not because we have someone sorted, necessarily. But it will get out on its own as we try to replace him and it's better to control the message

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

@Kopology Here in Brighton people absolutely love him. I think there may be some questions about him as a defensive coach but he once missed out on (I think) a promotion on goal difference alone and became one of those managers who tried to relentlessly score goals

[Here's What I Reckon: @angryaboutbikes]

"Shareholders get the profits because they are the ones who assume all the risk" I say as I lay off thousands of workers to protect my stock price

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

This is the absolute epitome of supporting something when there's no chance of it mattering to get some votes but dropping it as soon as you might actually have to do something. The liberal's favourite kind of policy

[Stats for Lefties 🍉🏳️‍⚧️ @LeftieStats]

🚨 BREAKING: Starmer has officially dumped Labour's promise to recognise Palestine as a state.

Previously, Labour had said it would recognise Palestine as a state unilaterally. Now, Labour will only recognise Palestine if it "is acceptable to the state of Israel".

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

Pope just scored after 6 games without a goal and rumours he'll get sold in the January transfer window

[Eunan🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @E19177]

Pope giving it large

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

@Kopology It's the rare example of a joke that is only funny after you explain it

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

@Kopology I get a similar feeling when I take my step daughter to the playground, one of the other parents ask which one is mine and I get to say "oh, none of them"

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

Their recruitment is so bad they brought back Patrice Evra to lead the kitchen operation

[Adam Hurrey @FootballCliches]

Does this count as "the doldrums"

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

I literally don't believe this person earns this much. Surely it's impossible to earn this much and still lack even a basic understanding of how tax wprks

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

@RiseburyCrisis And Aristocats. Actuellement, Les Aristocats

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

@RiseburyCrisis I'm old enough to know a lot of people who've turned 42 a lot less fabulously than you Paul

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

Even in mixed groups this guy was always a guy. Watches his friend say "I had the burger and two cosmos but round it up to £30" and he's thinking he'll keep that little tip for the staff all for himself. What a cunt That Guy in the friend group is

[Tim Ballantine is Open for Commissions @timballantine]

When I ran restaurants I was happy to split even the most complicated bill, but the guy who deliberately waited until the end and said "I'll pay what's left" knowing his mates all tipped so he could eat for £2.98 can get absolutely fucked