T

[T @timomit96]

Pull up to the school like waddup I just totaled my car

[T @timomit96]

@Fidelity transferred cash 10/04 and not able to do anything until 10/30, any recommendations for a new bank? I’ll be closing ALL my accounts with you

[T @timomit96]

@Qween_pea How much? I feel so old I don’t know how to dm on twitter haha

[Jahmil @jaedirects]

Asap rocky's sperm rushing to fertilize Rihanna's egg 😭 Congratulations Rhi Rhi! #pregnant

[♥mark magark♥ @markedly]

probably fine!

[violin bug 🇵🇸 @violinbug]

sure owning a house must be nice but those people will never know the timeless thrill of pouring bacon grease directly into the sink

[ains 🂱 @ainsleystapes]

tristan thompson when they told him he had to cum in a cup instead of fucking the surrogate

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in

[T @timomit96]

@MBTA Took it at city point just a few minutes ago! This is probably the 10th time it’s happened too me and I see the buses skip on the schedule

[Rob @thegallowboob]

cutting bell peppers and adding googly eyes is bound to heal your soul a little, give it a try

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

We only rate dogs. This is clearly a Roomba… 12/10

[T @timomit96]

If you really think about it a child is an STI

[Malik☂️ @maliktheoracle]

this mf think they Dracula or something? 😭

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

filling plastic bags with gasoline because my son loves the way the light catches them when we hang them above his crib ❤️ we love you very much, Brondley

[Clarisse Loughrey @clarisselou]

Please enjoy Harrison Ford watching a magic trick & then reacting in the only way Harrison Ford reacts to anything

[thomas 🍌 @perfectsweeties]

me: hello i would like some spinach. just a normal amount for a normal person

grocery store: yea right. bet u love spinach u little spinach freak. here's a fucking brick of spinach. a literal bathtub full. u have 3 days to eat it all before it goes bad

[T @timomit96]

@lizKhalifa0 It’s actually a venti