Tom

2x World Champion // tweeting enthusiast // commercial fisherman

[Tom @tman0929]

Elementary School Hierarchy
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| ___/
being | __/
cool | /
| ___/
| /
| ___/
/______________________

how fast you are

[Tom @tman0929]

Pajama pants to the course are you fucking kidding me #nuke #annihilate #murder

Yes I play Titleist T200s and a blade putter, yes I’m an absolute stick

[Tom @tman0929]

Probably going to smoke some weed today. Feels like a good day for it

[Tony Lasagna @Tony_Lasagna_]

Me hungover as shit in the passenger seat while my boy drives us to the golf course

[Tom @tman0929]

@cumweiser Yes

[Tom @tman0929]

People who run/jog on the right side of the road with the cars coming from behind them have absolutely zero survival instincts. Complete dodo bird behavior

[Tom @tman0929]

@deanosmithh 8 hour session finished at +730, that’s after paying for drinks and food, talking straight cash. First round is on me in Tampa

[Tom @tman0929]

Reached cruising speed at the casino after the 4th whiskey coke, up 475, the cards are starting to speak to me

[Tom @tman0929]

A lot of you fellas could learn something from this bathroom poster

[Tom @tman0929]

@deanosmithh Put down a bowl of fruity pebbles with breakfast at the station a few days ago. Initial reaction was pure nirvana with a healthy dose of nostalgia, quickly turned into a medical grade stomach ache followed by killer diarrhea.

Puzzles on the box were sweet though

[Tom @tman0929]

Holy shit I cannot not wait to settle in for a meaningless TNF game between two god awful teams while simultaneously losing ~$35 on player props that were never going to hit

[Tom @tman0929]

How much dedidated wam does it take to wun a sewver

[Tom @tman0929]

Idk who needs to hear this but the love of your life is not in your post grad program or niche health care training class

[Tom @tman0929]

Seeing that map that shows Asian countries and they’re comparable climates in the US and realizing China is very similar to the Deep South it made me think if we just export them large amounts of tweas, folk country music and lifted F250’s we might resolve our issues

[Tom @tman0929]

The day they take away the 30 second skip button on Apple Podcasts is the day I riot

[Tom @tman0929]

Why do the golf corporate overlords refuse to let me enjoy this Players Sunday at my local dive? Do they really think the 65 year old bartender knows what the fuck Peacock is??? Why can we not watch sports events with basic cable anymore #annoyed

[eigenrobot @eigenrobot]

just got the call. fired. I was the wildlife DEI coordinator at the EPA. my job was to turn the frogs gay

[Tom @tman0929]

Off a bean at the arcteryx store trying on climbing gear

[Tom @tman0929]

My kids will never be iPad babies. I’m getting them on a 2000’s desktop setup with a fat ass monitor. 3 year old child on old school RuneScape or some shit. Possibly dropshipping products from eBay. We must go back before we go forward

[Tom @tman0929]

@ratgod666 Sorry

[Tom @tman0929]

Do people for real fuck with Bob Dylan? He sounds like John Lennon took a shit ton of ketamine and ate a bunch of peanut butter at the same time. Chalamet is still the man though. Music is wack