Almost immediately after sex, if she was on top, my ex would shout "slime trail!" and rub her vag up my belly like it was some sort of cum filled slug. I saw the funny side but it was incredibly unattractive.
Once stole 3 pigs from the farm next to halls at Uni, painted numbers 1, 2, and 4 on them before letting them roam the campus, the hunt for pig 3 went on for hours for those looking for it
People think I'm scared of going to hospital because of a tragic experience in my past involving a deceased family member. In reality, I was traumatised by an episode of Doctor Who in which a hospital is transported to the moon and an old lady sucks people's blood through a straw