Lil' Mz. Missfit

if sarcastic tweets about toddlers, separation, sleep depravation and working (all the fun stuff) are your thing, then yeah, giz' a follow!

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

Literally had to put down my fork to wipe a bare arse at the dinner table. Sorta ruined my appetite. #parenting #momofboys #yocky #gross

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

Big Bro: "Mammy, you make me feel happy".

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

He heard "boat" when I said "vote". Hopefully no more boats for Irish women.

#repealthe8th #repeal #Together4Yes #MakeHistory #Tá4Mná #Referendum2018 #VoteYes https://t.co/cfycU9UNyY

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

Me: Today is a very important day for Ireland, for women. The vote is going to change things for women

4 year old: Are we going on a boat today, mammy? 🙈😂

Me: No, baby. Vote, not boat.

4 yr old: I love you, mammy. 💞

#NoMoreBoats4IrishWomen #repealthe8th #MakeHistory

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

Me: Today is a very important day for Ireland, for women. The vote is going to change things for women

4 year old: Are we going on a boat today, mammy? 🙈😂

Me: No, baby. Vote, not boat.

4 yr old: I love you, mammy. 💞

#NoMoreBoats4IrishWomen #repealthe8th #MakeHistory

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

How you know you are a mother of boys... #notaturd💩 #toycar #parenting #momofboys #gross #toddlers

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

If you're the type of person who orders a Guinness last, we can't be friends. #TuesdayThoughts

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

Do you ever get so tired that you're 100% ok with the thought of death?

At least then you'll get sleep! 😐😴

#parenting #toddlerquips #sotired #mombie #momofboys #irishmother #singlemother #nosleep #fridayfeeling 😭#fridayfeelingNOT

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

Does anyone else feel like their child waits till they have a fresh nappy on before they take a dump? 💁🏼 #nappy #bangofshite #parenting #pamperedbutt #toddlerquips #stinky #diva

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

#karma #separation #divorce #winning #dealwithit #yourloss #crymeariver #suckstobeyou https://t.co/NdX0gMPGdn

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

When your husband leaves you expecting their life to get better only yours does instead.

#KarmaBitch #HowDoYouLikeThemApples #UpYoursDude

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

When your husband leaves you expecting their life to get better only yours does instead.

#KarmaBitch #HowDoYouLikeThemApples #UpYoursDude

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

*food

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

Playing with the carrot from Lidl Fiod Heroes:

"Carrot! Let's reach our potentials!" 😂😂😂😂.

#sorandom #potential #foodheroes #lidl #toddlerquips #haha #kidsaregas #parenting yeah

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

Easter explained by a 4 year old:

'When God died, that's when the Easter Bunny was born'.

#Hallelujah #easter #god #easterbunny #HappyEaster #easterexplained #circleoflife #parenting #momlife #mumofboys #kidssaythefunniestthings #toddlerquips

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

What I wanna do to people who buy my kids noisy toys.

#damnyoutohell #noisyfeckingtoys #parenting #momlife #parentinggoals

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

You can always tell if a toy was designed by someone who doesn't have kids.

No off switch? No kids.

Only one super loud volume setting? No kids.

As fragile as a Ming vase? No kids.

#parenting

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

So, now to get him to eat anything, I have to feed it to Po and Tinkie Winkie first.

#whateverworks 🤷🏼‍♀️#parenting #teletubbies #toddlerquips

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

The important thing is, he didn't give up Buzz's location.

#snitchesgetstitches #Woody #ToyStory #toughguy

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

Does anyone else have a toddler sized bald patch on their Christmas trees? 🎄

#ToddlerLife #parenting #christmas #christmastree #baldpatch #toddlerquips

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

When I was a kid, I wanted to fly into outer space. Now, as an adult, I resent a 2 minute walk to the shop. #NASA https://t.co/2kje0OUo6T

[NASA @NASA]

These 3 humans are launching to space in March 2018. Before they head to the @Space_Station, get to know the crew! Tune in live at 2pm ET & use #askNASA for your Qs. Details: https://t.co/LJW6LdQ8FF

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

When you've had broken sleep for 4 years and then you finally get an opportunity to get some decent sleep.

#parenting #sleepdepravation #insomniac #toddlerquips #zombie #sotired #Sleep

[Lil' Mz. Missfit @toddler_quips]

3.5yo playing with a Lego motorbike:

"I can't pull this apart because it's too complicated".

That boy never ceases to amaze me. Plus he just told me I was beautiful. ☺️

#swoon

#vocabgoals #toddlerquips