Tomny Long ting Lewa

[Tomny Long ting Lewa @tomlewa]

@predictfutbol01 Bet of the day on YouTube best analysis with AI best odds ur the best guys 🤏🏼🤏🏼

[Tomny Long ting Lewa @tomlewa]

@ParipesaKe Why are you guys limiting withdrawal to kes 5,000

[Tomny Long ting Lewa @tomlewa]

@lilbaby_1_ Hadi lini Man ata nimekata tamaa

[Tomny Long ting Lewa @tomlewa]

@jmakumu Out of context, Sir, Bt, I would wish to know how ur withdrawal problem was sorted out with 1xbet back in 2018. Am going through the same

[Tomny Long ting Lewa @tomlewa]

@Hurah60802037 @virat_the_kohli Yo bro... What's up with 1XBet I cannot withdraw my winnings via Mpesa for a week now..?

[Tomny Long ting Lewa @tomlewa]

@Hurah60802037 @virat_the_kohli Kijana

[FeelGoodThoughts @feelgoodtale]

Mother reacting to her Autistic son speaking to her for the first time🥺❤️

[M O I B E N S H I R E @Kapyoseiin]

PROCEDURE OF PURCHASING LAND IN KENYA

If you are buying land from an individual or a group please follow the following STEPS to avoid being CONNED.

1. Ask to see the TITLE DEED or Copy of the title deed. Then do a search at the ministry of lands to confirm who the real owners are or if the title has any CAVEAT on it, The search will cost you Sh 520.

2. Do a search with LOCAL AUTHORITIES to check of any unpaid land rates. If any, agree with the seller who will settle the land rates. NB:LAND can't be transferred if they are unpaid land rates.

3. Go to the ministry of lands and buy 2 Maps, one showing the exact measurements of the piece you are buying called (mutation) and the other showing the neighbouring lands, Each costs Sh 350.

4. With your 2 maps and a surveyor (you can do it yourself) visit the land you are buying and verify the details on the MAP. Check out all the beacons.

5. Sit down with your seller and bargain the price. Write down an agreement. The agreement can be done in the presence of a lawyer. According to LSK if the value of the land is below 1 million you pay the lawyer 3K, if it's above 1 million you pay the lawyer 8K for the agreement.

6. Pay some amount as per your agreement. Don't pay everything Hata kama pesa uko nayo.

7. Book a meeting with lands control board (LCB) They meet once every month. It will cost you Sh 1000. LCB will issue consent for the land to be sold.

8. Pay the remaining balance after getting consent from LCB.

9. Go to ministry of lands offices with your KRA PIN, 2 passport photos and a copy of the TITLE DEED to change ownership. It will cost you Sh 5000.

10. At this stage you don't need the seller. Now go pay stamp duty, i.e according to the VALUE of the land.
4% of sales value in municipalities &
2%of sales value in reserves.

11. Now the land belongs to you, but before celebrating go to the ministry of lands & do a search to confirm if they have updated their RECORDS and it reads your name.

[Julians Amboko @AmbokoJH]

UPDATE: Electronic Tax Invoice Management System (eTIMS).

Kenya Revenue Authority has launched what it calls 'eTIMS lite' targeting non-VAT registered tax payers.

· This suggests that the exemption of business whose turnover falls below Kes 5.0M per annum from mandatory eTIMS onboarding has effectively been rescinded
· This means business persons will now be able to raise eTIMS invoices via eCitizen & USSD options
· Now that this is be launched just 27 days to the sunset date for Mandatory eTIMS onboarding (March 31st), I guess it is a statement signalling below target uptake especially by players in the informal segment of the economy (who are actually the ones being targeted anyway)
· Finally, I really hope this addresses the headache that it is to simply raise an invoice via eTIMS. It took me a whole 2 days to raise an invoice, 2 days!!

[Goddie @Goddie_Ke]

NAIROBI ESTATES ANALYSIS

EASTLEIGH - You can buy anything you want here, they are so good they can clone your mother as long as you have cash

UMOJA - All alcoholics live here

ZIMMERMAN - All prostitutes, strippers and single mothers live here

MAKONGENI, KALOLENI, JERICHO, MBOTELA, BAHATI - All those utahama lini children live here, as for girls, they have 3 or 4 children and they still live with their parents

DANDORA, KAYOLE, HURUMA - Role models here are thugs and conductors, infact here the more you get arrested the bigger your celebrity status. The more cat shoes and silver chains you wear ...the more your celebrity status

KARIOBANGI - The home of all counterfeits, they are so good at this that they even made their own currency

KIBERA - Hooligans, fanatics, Ushamba, anything negative resides here

NGARA - Student centre .....hapa ukitaka kuonja dem Masai, borana utapata ....students everywhere.

PIPELINE – Majority work in industrial area.

BURUBURU, KOMAROCK, DONHOLM, SOUTH B, SOUTH C - All these are Runda wannabes. Hapa kisungu ni mingi na mtu akiingia kwa nyumba anaongea broken swahili ama Mother tongue

ROYSAMBU, KASARANI, KAHAWA WEST, KAHAWA WENDANI – University students on part time jobs and those who have just landed their first jobs reside here. In fact, there are more bedsitters and single rooms here than there is bed capacity in all Universities in East and Central Africa combined.

[Janet Machuka @janetmachuka_]

Picked 10 YouTube Documentaries to Watch

1. The Rise and Rise of Bitcoin — Moconomy

2. The Narco-Lawyers Behind Mexico’s Drug Cartels — DW Documentary

3. The Untold Story of the World’s Greatest Prison Escape

4. Why I am Not on Facebook: Dangers of Social Media —Moconomy

5. Mosul — PBS Frontline

6. China’s Global Hacker Army — Java Discover

7. And hen a 160 IQ Teen Snaps — Explore With Us

8. Decoding Putin and Xi’s Blueprint for a New World Order — DW News

9. Christianity & ISIS in the Middle East —Java Discover

10. Muammar Gadddafi — The People Profiles

[Lewin | Wealth Pill 💊 @Wealth_Pill]

I'm recently turned 36.

I wasted my 20s partying, dating and comfort zone.

If you're still in your 20s and 30s, please open this...

[Okong' Okuna @XivTroy]

Hierarchy of Relationships in the city:

1. One Night Stand:

This is the lowest in the hierarchy. Being drunk is both a prerequisite and excuse. The sex is awful, involves exaggerated moaning to make up for absence of intimacy, & awkwardness the next day. Avoid. Use protection.

[Here we go! @DaviesKinanga]

17. Thomson's Fall, Nyahururu

74-meter  waterfall on the Ewaso Ngiro river. The falls appeared in the TV movie, The Man in The Brown Suit, the movie was in theatres around 1988.

Check out Everything you need to know👇
https://t.co/SQSGwFdXdM

[Grant Miller @AIGuide_]

7 ways to start commanding respect + recognition:

1.

[Dan @danmurrays]

I'm 37.

If you're still in your 20s, read this:

[Kenyan Business @BusinessIntelKE]

Here is my take on the rental income property option:

- First, never buy property based on the listed price, always negotiate or involve someone who is good at negotiating, you can knock off 10% or more and save a lot.
Also make sure it's not overvalued compared to income.

[EDGAR @edgarwabwire_]

If your Dad did not give you a drunk Mum please gentlemen do not do the mistake of giving your kids a drunk mom.

You might hate Amerix but at least do not hate on what he says. Look at how your woman responds to things when she's mad, pay attention to how she speaks to waiters, soldiers, street kids etc. You will learn a lot!