Ixabert

Ancient Greek supremacist. English country squire supremacist. Tea supremacist. Raw meat supremacist. Wirral supremacist. Blue-eye supremacist.

[Ixabert @trebaxian]

There's something fundamentally unnatural about an aristocrat being forced to manufacture his own mystique by hand. What I want, more than anything, is the sort of "intro" sequence that appears at the beginning of a non-existent TV show about myself, but, owing to a regrettable failure on the part of civilisation, nobody has offered to manufacture one for me. Consequently, I'm reduced to the humiliating necessity of producing the dashed video myself.

It's rather like being obliged to butter one's own toast: a perfectly survivable indignity, to be sure, but one which nevertheless strikes a devastating blow against the very roots of civilised existence when inflicted on a man of my peculiarly delicate temperament.

[Ixabert @trebaxian]

I am obliged to conduct my literary activities on a "Tablet" device which I purloined from a thrift shop, having also relieved the establishment of a laptop as well. There was, however, a regrettable oversight in the latter operation: I forgot to steal the Dell proprietary charger, with the result that the laptop is useless to me.

And how, I ask, is a fellow supposed to produce a proper em dash on an Android device? I had formerly used Autohotkey to make the Caps Lock key produce an em dash. Now I am reduced to the barbarous expedient of typing "---" in its place.

Civilisation has clearly taken a wrong turning somewhere.

[Ixabert @trebaxian]

Some women don't care for having relationships with intelligent men, even when they are sexually attracted to them, because they want to be the dominant party in the relationship. It's rather difficult for such a woman to establish dominance when the man is cleverer than she is. Women of this type therefore prefer men who are somewhat stupider than themselves.

They will, naturally, come up with all sorts of other explanations for their peculiar preference for stupid men. The real reason is simpler: they do not like being dominated by the man to whom they are attracted.

[Ixabert @trebaxian]

Give me one good reason for abolishing aristocracy--that is, for keeping the best men out of power.

You would shove the very best fellow off the driver's seat, wrench the whip from his hand, haul the worst fellow up, and tell him to crack the whip?

[Dopeyan @fornowwvo]

@trebaxian you stole the bell off a church 🤣

[Ixabert @trebaxian]

The old aristocracy was, of course, more than a hereditary collection of crack cocaine families with agreeable houses. It was the ruling class, and quite properly so, being distinguished by those little qualities one likes to see in people entrusted with the nation: courage, discipline, honour, self-command, responsibility, cultivated judgment, & the ability to lead. Privilege was contingent on the fulfillment of public responsibilities. Inherited rank depended on the assumption of excellence. That assumption, once irrefutable, has become increasingly difficult to sustain.

The contrast is particularly striking when one considers the more recent specimens of aristocracy. John Hervey, 7th Marquess of Bristol, descended from one of the great houses into heroin and cocaine addiction, drug convictions, cocaine smuggling, imprisonment, and ruin. His Grace Jamie Spencer-Churchill, 12th Duke of Marlborough, combined one of the grandest hereditary dignities in the kingdom with heroin and cocaine addiction, upwards of twenty criminal convictions, burglary, shoplifting, assault, drug offences, and repeated imprisonment. Lord Edward Somerset became a long-term crack-cocaine user and dealer, and repeatedly assaulted his wife. Lord Benjamin Mancroft was addicted to speed and heroin. Charles Nall-Cain, 3rd Baron Brocket, was convicted in a £4.5 million insurance fraud, imprisoned and bankrupted. Angus Montagu, 12th Duke of Manchester, was convicted of fraud in Florida, and imprisoned; his successor, Alexander Montagu, 13th Duke of Manchester, was convicted on twenty-two counts of fraud, and subsequently involved in further offences. The hereditary dignity survived the conduct of the men who bore it.

The same deterioration appears in less exalted but equally revealing forms. The Honorable Jonathan Davies stole £1.6 million from a family charity and received a suspended sentence. Paul White, Baron Hanningfield, was convicted repeatedly of false accounting and imprisoned. John Taylor, Baron Taylor of Warwick, was convicted over fraudulent parliamentary expenses, and imprisoned. Constance Marten, an aristocratic heiress, was convicted of manslaughter, child cruelty, and perverting the course of justice, and sentenced to fourteen years. Piers Portman, son of Viscount Portman, was convicted of a racially aggravated hate crime. Rowan Nash Lascelles, son of David Lascelles, 8th Earl of Harewood, was convicted of racially aggravated assault and harassment.

The catalogue extends further. Reginald Birchall, also known as Lord Frederick Somerset, became a conman and convicted murderer in Canada. Vere St Leger Goold, the son of a baron, was convicted in the Monte Carlo trunk murder, and died in custody. Gottfried Alexander von Bismarck, German aristocrat and Count von Bismarck, became notorious for prolonged cocaine and other drug use, and died from massive cocaine consumption. George Cottrell, a British financier of aristocratic background, was convicted in the United States of fraud-related offences and imprisoned. John Bingham, 7th Earl of Lucan, was convicted in absentia of the murder of Sandra Rivett and subsequently disappeared. Victor Hervey, 6th Marquess of Bristol, was convicted of jewellery theft and imprisoned. Joseph Hardwicke, 10th Earl of Hardwicke, was convicted of supplying cocaine after a police sting. Philip Herbert, 7th Earl of Pembroke, was convicted of manslaughter after killing Nathaniel Cony and was later implicated in another killing.

Laurence Shirley, 4th Earl Ferrers, was convicted of murder. William Byron, 5th Baron Byron, was convicted of manslaughter. Frank Russell, 2nd Earl Russell, was convicted of bigamy and imprisoned. Thomas Fiennes, 9th Baron Dacre, was convicted of murder. William Beauchamp Nevill was prosecuted over an elaborate jewellery and pawn fraud involving the substitution of worthless contents. Francis Charteris, Scottish-born aristocrat and army officer, was court-martialled for disgraceful conduct and became notorious for gambling, usury, burglary, and fraudulent schemes. Henry, Lord Neville, heir to the Earl of Westmorland, was imprisoned and prosecuted in connexion with a conspiracy to murder his wife and father.

Nobles have always been capable of treason, murder, fraud, theft, and violence. But there is a considerable difference between a mediaeval nobleman committing treason amid the rough-and-tumble of dynastic politics and a hereditary peer spending his later years wrestling with crack cocaine addiction, shoplifting, burglary, imprisonment, and personal dissolution. The former tells us that aristocrats were human; the latter suggests that the aristocratic type itself has been deteriorating. One might call it progress, though not necessarily in the sense intended by the people who invented the word.

The contemporary aristocrat appears not as a prince contending for a crown but as a drug addict and common criminal. The former was merely a corruption of power; the latter is a corruption of aristocracy.

[Ixabert @trebaxian]

I've regained access to all my accounts, & have now evolved a little scheme for dealing with these people. A scheme so fiendishly fool-proof that failure seems inconceivable. There are, i confess, two slight drawback: it may be a trifle too cruel even for me, and once I've put it into operation, I shan't be able to mention the matter for several years. But they have left me with no alternative.

It was pure blind luck that they happened to stumble on me in the first place. I had concealed myself in precisely the spot where one of their minions had decided to dump some unwanted odds & ends of his burgled pilf. Unfortunately, the fellow has the eyes of a hawk, & on discovering me, he immediately draws a hatchet & begins waving it about. I relieve him of the hatchet, he punches me in the face, his associate stands by with a knife. Then the rest of the gang arrive & relieve me of all my possessions.

The whole performance is on camera, though I am keeping that little item in reserve for Option B. And if the same gang happen to find me there again, I have a ready excuse: I shall tell them that I heard a cat mewing inside, opened the gate to let it out, whereupon it bolted back in again, leaving me with no choice but to go in and rescue it.

Oh, never mind--there was my carefully prepared excuse for an entirely unrelated little incident: my breaking into the art gallery. One does lose track of one's cover stories when life becomes this complicated.

[dionysus2100 @dionysus2100]

@trebaxian When he inevitably outsmarts you, you’ll have hell and more to pay.

[Ms Piggy’s Little Fart Slave @poop_gun_]

@trebaxian We stand with Ixabert!!!!!!!!!!

[Jamie Amy Bootay @jamieamybootay]

@trebaxian Ixabert's enemies are a bunch of moralizing scolds. This reads like Bin Laden's gay letter to America

[Charles Wing-Uexküll @CWingUexkull]

This is either a remarkable & unannounced Ixabertian stylistic experiment in remedial proletarian English prose, or his laptop & other possessions really have been stolen by these libelous hoodlums.

Regardless, I stand with Ixabert against his persecutors, as we all must…

Cease at once your besmirchment of his keyboard with your grimy peasant claws & restore the man’s writing utensils.

[Wil ᛋhelm @OdinicRopist9]

@trebaxian Reeking havoc among the homeless, throwing garbage on them and destroying their domiciles? Never knew Ixabert was so BASED

[Brynhildr @maenadraving]

Lord Ixabert! lol, a true man! A beast of prey. What you enemies of Ixabert don’t understand is that it isn’t what he does but who he is that determines his value and Ixabert is a high born man even if he is also insane and living like an animal/monster in the modern miasma of decadence and corruption. What did Nietzsche say?: the Ubermensch is both an animal and a god. So too is the great Lord Ixabert. Muah!

[wigger࿗oracle @bestieoracle]

@trebaxian I LOVE IXABERT EVEN MORE NOW WTF

[Hans Amsler @HansAmsler33]

>Picking fights with people for no reason, being an attention whore who attacks homeless people, betraying your friends and preople that have helped you, stealing, being a literal pick pocket, and being banned from every store, every bar, every restauraunt and cafe

[Ixabert @trebaxian]

I've regained access to all my accounts, & have now evolved a little scheme for dealing with these people. A scheme so fiendishly fool-proof that failure seems inconceivable. There are, i confess, two slight drawback: it may be a trifle too cruel even for me, and once I've put it into operation, I shan't be able to mention the matter for several years. But they have left me with no alternative.

It was pure blind luck that they happened to stumble on me in the first place. I had concealed myself in precisely the spot where one of their minions had decided to dump some unwanted odds & ends of his burgled pilf. Unfortunately, the fellow has the eyes of a hawk, & on discovering me, he immediately draws a hatchet & begins waving it about. I relieve him of the hatchet, he punches me in the face, his associate stands by with a knife. Then the rest of the gang arrive & relieve me of all my possessions.

The whole performance is on camera, though I am keeping that little item in reserve for Option B. And if the same gang happen to find me there again, I have a ready excuse: I shall tell them that I heard a cat mewing inside, opened the gate to let it out, whereupon it bolted back in again, leaving me with no choice but to go in and rescue it.

Oh, never mind--there was my carefully prepared excuse for an entirely unrelated little incident: my breaking into the art gallery. One does lose track of one's cover stories when life becomes this complicated.

[Ixabert @trebaxian]

We have confiscated "Ixabert's" laptop and other miscalaneous items until such time as he gives us back what belongs to us. We already told him what we want,so give us our belongings and then we'll see about the rest of it. We got all your information already, Osmund. We got your real ID, your fake IDs, your photographs, your logins, your accounts, the things you admitted to, the things you've been telling people, photos we took of you when you were acting like a slut,and the lies you've been telling along with it. Some of it we got off your accounts, some from the documents we found with your laptop. some of it you said to us yourself. some of it we've been shown by other people, and some of it we seen first hand. And dont worry, we've got copies of things. we've got information from different places, we've been putting it all together. So give me my laptop or i'll post it all to your timeline.

You get online and present yourself as this updtanding right-wing moral person, but in real life you're a drug addicted promiscuous slut. You fuck women but did you tell your followers that you fucked an old lady, sucked a few dicks and do other gay shit. Thats the real you. We also have strong reason to believe you prostitute yourself. You do drugs. You are into all kinds of weird shit. And then you get back online talking about values and morality like nobody's supposed to notice what you've actually been doing. We've seen what you do and we've seen what you say and those things don't match up.

You pick fights with people for no reason. You are an attention whore who attacks homeless people. You betrayed your friends and preople that have helped you. You steal. You are a literal pick pocket. Youre banned from every store, every bar, every restauraunt and cafe. You stole the bell off a church. You publicly mock and slander good people. You are perpetually unemployed. You broke into the library, you broke into the museum, you broke into the courthouse, a church, the swimming arena, an old folks house. you took things out of those buildings, antiques, maps, books, clothes, laptops, and other property, and then you associate with thugs and work with street gangs and still get online pretending you're some respectable educated person. We've got information about your break-ins and we're turning it over to the police unless you give us whats ours. You can explain to them why you were there, what you took and why you thought you had the right to take it. We saw what was taken, we've been told where some of it came from, and there is enough information there for the police to look into it. And you set fire to an elderlynman's house. You burnt down the tents of homeless people. You cut up an old lady's tent, thats the real reason why you got the shit kicked out of you. You were not "mugged". You do awful things and then go back online acting like you're some rational sane person who carefully considers everything before he speaks. We've seen how you actually act. You have violent outbursts, you howl at the moon like a drunken lunatic, you cause public disturbances,and then somehow you keep getting away with ot. That in itself is suspicious, because most people do that kind of stuff and eventually somebody calls the cops. maybe you work for the cops? I don't know, but people are gonna ask questions when they see the same thing happening over and over.

You do drugs and act like you're on drugs. You walk around naked. You eat like an animal but pretend to be all prim and proper online. You dump garbage on homeless people. You cause trouble in public. Then you get online talking about conservative values and morality and how everybody else is supposed to behave. You're telling people how they should live while you're doing all this other stuff yourself, and then you act surprised when somebody points out the contradiction. What do you want us to call it? Good citizenship? Because that's not what it looks like in the real world. Then there's your identity, because "Osmund" isn't even your real first name, it's your middle name. your actual first name?...We'll get to that when it's time. We got the IDs too, including the fake ones, and if they're fake then that's a crime, and if they're not fake then there's going to have to be some explanation for why they don't match the other identification we've got. the police can decide what the legal status of those documents are once we hand them over.

Your born out of wedlock. You've had sexual relations with a black woman yet you pretend to be against 'race mixing'. Your "uncle"/father Richard was gay like you. But even your gay dad wanted nothing to do with you.

Until such time as you return our property, we're keeping what we took, and if you don't return it we will expose you, your information gets turned over to the police and they can decide what happens next. That's how this works. Give us our stuff back and there's one less problem

[Ixabert @trebaxian]

We have confiscated "Ixabert's" laptop and other miscalaneous items until such time as he gives us back what belongs to us. We already told him what we want,so give us our belongings and then we'll see about the rest of it. We got all your information already, Osmund. We got your real ID, your fake IDs, your photographs, your logins, your accounts, the things you admitted to, the things you've been telling people, photos we took of you when you were acting like a slut,and the lies you've been telling along with it. Some of it we got off your accounts, some from the documents we found with your laptop. some of it you said to us yourself. some of it we've been shown by other people, and some of it we seen first hand. And dont worry, we've got copies of things. we've got information from different places, we've been putting it all together. So give me my laptop or i'll post it all to your timeline.

You get online and present yourself as this updtanding right-wing moral person, but in real life you're a drug addicted promiscuous slut. You fuck women but did you tell your followers that you fucked an old lady, sucked a few dicks and do other gay shit. Thats the real you. We also have strong reason to believe you prostitute yourself. You do drugs. You are into all kinds of weird shit. And then you get back online talking about values and morality like nobody's supposed to notice what you've actually been doing. We've seen what you do and we've seen what you say and those things don't match up.

You pick fights with people for no reason. You are an attention whore who attacks homeless people. You betrayed your friends and preople that have helped you. You steal. You are a literal pick pocket. Youre banned from every store, every bar, every restauraunt and cafe. You stole the bell off a church. You publicly mock and slander good people. You are perpetually unemployed. You broke into the library, you broke into the museum, you broke into the courthouse, a church, the swimming arena, an old folks house. you took things out of those buildings, antiques, maps, books, clothes, laptops, and other property, and then you associate with thugs and work with street gangs and still get online pretending you're some respectable educated person. We've got information about your break-ins and we're turning it over to the police unless you give us whats ours. You can explain to them why you were there, what you took and why you thought you had the right to take it. We saw what was taken, we've been told where some of it came from, and there is enough information there for the police to look into it. And you set fire to an elderlynman's house. You burnt down the tents of homeless people. You cut up an old lady's tent, thats the real reason why you got the shit kicked out of you. You were not "mugged". You do awful things and then go back online acting like you're some rational sane person who carefully considers everything before he speaks. We've seen how you actually act. You have violent outbursts, you howl at the moon like a drunken lunatic, you cause public disturbances,and then somehow you keep getting away with ot. That in itself is suspicious, because most people do that kind of stuff and eventually somebody calls the cops. maybe you work for the cops? I don't know, but people are gonna ask questions when they see the same thing happening over and over.

You do drugs and act like you're on drugs. You walk around naked. You eat like an animal but pretend to be all prim and proper online. You dump garbage on homeless people. You cause trouble in public. Then you get online talking about conservative values and morality and how everybody else is supposed to behave. You're telling people how they should live while you're doing all this other stuff yourself, and then you act surprised when somebody points out the contradiction. What do you want us to call it? Good citizenship? Because that's not what it looks like in the real world. Then there's your identity, because "Osmund" isn't even your real first name, it's your middle name. your actual first name?...We'll get to that when it's time. We got the IDs too, including the fake ones, and if they're fake then that's a crime, and if they're not fake then there's going to have to be some explanation for why they don't match the other identification we've got. the police can decide what the legal status of those documents are once we hand them over.

Your born out of wedlock. You've had sexual relations with a black woman yet you pretend to be against 'race mixing'. Your "uncle"/father Richard was gay like you. But even your gay dad wanted nothing to do with you.

Until such time as you return our property, we're keeping what we took, and if you don't return it we will expose you, your information gets turned over to the police and they can decide what happens next. That's how this works. Give us our stuff back and there's one less problem

[Ixabert @trebaxian]

We have confiscated "Ixabert's" laptop and other miscalaneous items until such time as he gives us back what belongs to us. We already told him what we want,so give us our belongings and then we'll see about the rest of it. We got all your information already, Osmund. We got your real ID, your fake IDs, your photographs, your logins, your accounts, the things you admitted to, the things you've been telling people, photos we took of you when you were acting like a slut,and the lies you've been telling along with it. Some of it we got off your accounts, some from the documents we found with your laptop. some of it you said to us yourself. some of it we've been shown by other people, and some of it we seen first hand. And dont worry, we've got copies of things. we've got information from different places, we've been putting it all together. So give me my laptop or i'll post it all to your timeline.

You get online and present yourself as this updtanding right-wing moral person, but in real life you're a drug addicted promiscuous slut. You fuck women but did you tell your followers that you fucked an old lady, sucked a few dicks and do other gay shit. Thats the real you. We also have strong reason to believe you prostitute yourself. You do drugs. You are into all kinds of weird shit. And then you get back online talking about values and morality like nobody's supposed to notice what you've actually been doing. We've seen what you do and we've seen what you say and those things don't match up.

You pick fights with people for no reason. You are an attention whore who attacks homeless people. You betrayed your friends and preople that have helped you. You steal. You are a literal pick pocket. Youre banned from every store, every bar, every restauraunt and cafe. You stole the bell off a church. You publicly mock and slander good people. You are perpetually unemployed. You broke into the library, you broke into the museum, you broke into the courthouse, a church, the swimming arena, an old folks house. you took things out of those buildings, antiques, maps, books, clothes, laptops, and other property, and then you associate with thugs and work with street gangs and still get online pretending you're some respectable educated person. We've got information about your break-ins and we're turning it over to the police unless you give us whats ours. You can explain to them why you were there, what you took and why you thought you had the right to take it. We saw what was taken, we've been told where some of it came from, and there is enough information there for the police to look into it. And you set fire to an elderlynman's house. You burnt down the tents of homeless people. You cut up an old lady's tent, thats the real reason why you got the shit kicked out of you. You were not "mugged". You do awful things and then go back online acting like you're some rational sane person who carefully considers everything before he speaks. We've seen how you actually act. You have violent outbursts, you howl at the moon like a drunken lunatic, you cause public disturbances,and then somehow you keep getting away with ot. That in itself is suspicious, because most people do that kind of stuff and eventually somebody calls the cops. maybe you work for the cops? I don't know, but people are gonna ask questions when they see the same thing happening over and over.

You do drugs and act like you're on drugs. You walk around naked. You eat like an animal but pretend to be all prim and proper online. You dump garbage on homeless people. You cause trouble in public. Then you get online talking about conservative values and morality and how everybody else is supposed to behave. You're telling people how they should live while you're doing all this other stuff yourself, and then you act surprised when somebody points out the contradiction. What do you want us to call it? Good citizenship? Because that's not what it looks like in the real world. Then there's your identity, because "Osmund" isn't even your real first name, it's your middle name. your actual first name?...We'll get to that when it's time. We got the IDs too, including the fake ones, and if they're fake then that's a crime, and if they're not fake then there's going to have to be some explanation for why they don't match the other identification we've got. the police can decide what the legal status of those documents are once we hand them over.

Your born out of wedlock. You've had sexual relations with a black woman yet you pretend to be against 'race mixing'. Your "uncle"/father Richard was gay like you. But even your gay dad wanted nothing to do with you.

Until such time as you return our property, we're keeping what we took, and if you don't return it we will expose you, your information gets turned over to the police and they can decide what happens next. That's how this works. Give us our stuff back and there's one less problem

[Baalren @Baalren]

Rules simply don't apply to the lord and hero social classes.

You can say [nobody is above the law] all you want, but were it true nobody would have to say it.

[Ixabert @trebaxian]

@benne77_ @jakubflow it can increase the feeling of energy. usually it just maeks me feel tired right away.