Matt

I wear short sleeved shirts under long sleeved shirts under short sleeved shirts. Never turn your back on a rocket engine.

[Matt @TrerbJumps]

Maybe I’ll be back someday, maybe not. Anyone who stays, be good to each other. See ya in another life, yeah?

[Matt @TrerbJumps]

Yeah, Twitter sucks now. Unfortunately it’s been the best method I’ve found for getting real-time updates on nearby wildfires, plus it was fun being on here while the Braves were in the World Series last year, so I’m not going to delete my account (yet).

[Matt @TrerbJumps]

I’m not really a social media guy. Haven’t used Facebook in a decade. I have a Reddit account, but I mostly just use it to follow KBO news and read whiskey reviews - I’ve literally never posted a single thing. So…anyone who wants to find me may just have to text me lol.

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

if you’re in line to cyberbully elon musk, STAY IN LINE

[brent @murrman5]

"no rapping tonight"
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy

[For sale: Baby shoes. Never worn. (Baby is dead.) @LeHarrumph]

PHIL COLLINS: Here tonight is the man who inspired my next song, "Fat Shithead Clogged My Toilet."
[spotlight tracks me as I head for Exit]

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

yikes. it’s painfully obvious elon fired the team that writes the updates..

[Scott Coleman @scottcoleman55]

Happy Tyler Matzek Day to all who celebrate @TylerMatzek

[Los Angeles Chargers @chargers]

pray for us ain't nothing wrong we just gotta go to ohio

[mlb shitpost bot @mlbshitpostbot]

MLB would be better off without the New York Mets

[Arrested Development @bluthquotes]

I don’t care for Elon

[poorly drawn lines @PDLComics]

a smaller version

[Samantha Cristoforetti @AstroSamantha]

Welcome #Starliner !

[NASA @NASA]

The @BoeingSpace #Starliner's thrusters fire as the spacecraft performs its first inbound flyaround maneuver ahead of today's docking to the International @Space_Station.

[ARCHIVED: NASA Commercial Crew @Commercial_Crew]

Soft capture confirmed.

@BoeingSpace's #Starliner spacecraft arrived at the @Space_Station at 8:28pm ET.

[mlb shitpost bot @mlbshitpostbot]

For personal reasons, I will be fighting Dansby Swanson.

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

jesus: i need you to get me eggs before i come back

apostles: back?

jesus: but i better not see them

apostles: what?

rabbit: i can help

apostles: WHAT

[Hammer and Rails @HammerAndRails]

Purdue basketball is a messy bitch that loves drama.

[Lucy Rohden @lucy_rohden]

If georgia is serious they’ll schedule a bonus game against Purdue