e m i l y

dolly parton wannabe (she/her)

[Ariel Elias @Ariel_Comedy]

Mostly jealous that the UK can take 6 weeks to realize that they've made a mistake but women in the US can't.

[e m i l y @twinnerdos]

i thought this was a riddle

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

i need at least 3 beverages in my proximity at all times. they can all be cold but not all of them can be hot. if there are more than 3 then at least one of them has to be hot. this is the secret to my success, hope it helps

[e m i l y @twinnerdos]

@TweetsByTSD i’ve been craving a classic i’ve never seen.

[e m i l y @twinnerdos]

it might not be 2001, but i am watching 24 for the first time

[Shannon @ShannonJCurtin]

My 8yo had the audacity to ask me why I cross my legs when I sneeze.

You, dude. You are the reason.

[Zach Jelks @zacharyjelks]

dont let anyone pressure you out of ordering chicken tenders and fries at a restaurant, you are valid

[Sahana Srinivasan @sahana_srini]

There should be a second horn in ur car to let someone know they are doing a very good job

[Amanda Rafkin @AmandaRafkin]

Wicked on the West End having to open its show last night with "GOOD NEWS! SHE'S DEAD!" as the literal first words of the performance is an unbelievable awkwardness that will truly never be duplicated.

[e m i l y @twinnerdos]

man, i wish i paid attention to last 6 minutes of this character explaining the plot of this new elf show, instead of reading my timeline

[Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit]

Cut people out of your life who aren’t enjoying the Don’t Worry Darling stuff. Huge red flag. It’s objectively funny and the fact that the movie is not good is the ultimate punchline

[Dale Earnhardt Jr. @DaleJr]

Just got home from a @PinegroveBand concert in downtown Charlotte. Everyone jammed. Fun was had by all. Whats a concert you went to where the band sounded even better in person?

[Trung Phan @TrungTPhan]

There's a "Museum of Failure" in Sweden which highlights 150+ failed products. It's meant to show that innovation requires risk-taking and failure.

Here are 10 gems you may not remember:

[Casey Kroger @DE_CaseyK]

A significant storm has just passed through Cincy and NKY, causing a high number of outages. @DukeEnergy crews will begin damage assessment and restoration as soon as its safe. Here’s a reminder of the process.

[e m i l y @twinnerdos]

5 yo, singing quietly to himself "watermelon sugar - why? watermelon sugar- why?”

[e m i l y @twinnerdos]

hi 👋🏼 any chance we could get a RACI that covers the current federal government? it seems like the team could use a reset.

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

Supreme Court restricts EPA’s power to cut greenhouse gas emissions, a blow to Biden’s climate agenda https://t.co/ipivQReq82

[e m i l y @twinnerdos]

you can tell how white a city is by how many cameras they have on traffic lights at intersections

[e m i l y @twinnerdos]

why do sour skittles make you sweat

[e m i l y @twinnerdos]

someone just sneezed on tv, and i said "bless you" out loud

[e m i l y @twinnerdos]

someone plz write a thesis on how summer house on bravo is just a show about how millennials learn to be the best version of themselves by having GenZ slowly take their place as the leading generation on the show right before their eyes