twinzoo

Mom of 4yo twin boys who find ways to astound me everyday. This is the funny, the absurd, the somewhat serious documentation of the twinzoo life.

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

Twin A: Pee pee coming! Pee pee coming!
Me: *runs to bathroom with twin A sits him on the potty, waits*
Buddy do you have to go pee pee?
A: no!
Me: *turns head to see Twin B peeing in the hall*
A: He pee peed!
Me: yes, yes he did

The definition of #twinlife

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

@mutter_darth how did you find me?! I don't even use this that much!

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

What I feel like screaming right now. Between work, kids, global pandemic and all the other normal shit I just need a break.

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

@Roy_oh_Roy @momsense_ensues 20fucking20 man

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

@DadisGrumpy My husband had that same convo with his Dr😂

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

@DadisGrumpy I've had similar experiences where they purposely put their pillow on the floor and wanted one of us to retrieve it.

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

The other night Twin B came up behind me as I was trying to get him to bed and started blowing on my butt.
Me: what are you doing?!
Him: Mommy, your butt wiggles like jell-o!!

#parenting #twins #twinlife #momlife

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

Twin B came in my bed the other morning to snuggle before everyone got up. Then whispered sweetly into my ear:

"Mommy you need to put on sweat pants. Your legs are spiky"

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

You know you are living thru a global pandemic when you start researching how to put your child up for adoption after they dump a whole dispenser of hand soap down the drain.

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

This virus won’t just go away because you want it to, Mr. President. It’s time for you to step up and do your job.

[Ron Perlman @perlmutations]

Over 118,000 American souls have been lost to the coronavirus and that number is not slowing down. Instead of formulating an actual plan to save lives, the president is tweeting in all caps about the stock market. There’s only so much tequila I can drink so please VOTE.

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

Zoom physical therapy for a pre-schooler is as bad as it sounds.

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

@momsense_ensues It's ok I had to read it 3x times to find it 😅 Parenting is not only hard, it is exhausting and things happen. We all get it!

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

@dadmann_walking @MumInBits Wait..when did my kids get a twitter account?

[Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously]

America is not the greatest country on earth. Stop saying that shit.

[BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ @mmpadellan]

How is it that Breonna's Law was passed, but the cops who MURDERED Breonna Taylor are still FREE?

Explain it to me like I'm a mother who lost her daughter for absolutely no reason at all.

[Uncle Jeff 🌈 @PickleRudd]

People who insist "all lives matter" seem pretty slow to accept "healthcare for everybody"

[Andy Cohen @Andy]

Hey Brett Kavanaugh - fuck you.

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

This looks like my fault.

I didn't do it.

-TwinA

#twinlife #twinmom #momlife #twins #parenting

[twinzoo @twinzoo3]

Let's play a game of the strangest comments strangers/co-workers say about your kids when they see them (either IRL or a pic). I'll start:
"Wow they have so many teeth."
"Wow they really have a lot of hair"
Yes Karen, they're 3, pretty sure they should have that much teeth &hair.