gigi

all shall love me and despair • she/her

[gigi @vampireluvr99]

can the Boulder police please stop giving me parking tickets and please start solving the Jon Benet Ramsey case

[bitch fuck @normlsophiapost]

You’re laughing. My roommates just found out there’s no ‘P’ in hamster and you’re laughing.

[wes @mannmiami]

how am i going to enrich the taste of this beautiful baked potato

the illustrious stick of butter:

[Bryan Cheong @bryancsk]

Yap at me Muse, about this guy who was lowkey built different,
who literally couldn't stay in his lane after he absolutely demolished Troy fr fr:
He was out here vibing in everybody's cities, living in their heads rent-free,
ngl he was catching major L's on the ocean, straight up in his feels,
trying to keep himself and his squad alive and heading back to base.
But no cap, he couldn't save his boys even though he was trying so hard:
they were out here acting real smooth-brained and did themselves dirty,
absolute NPCs who had the audacity to feast on Helios's cattle—
and he said "bet" and canceled their whole return journey.
Spill the tea about all this, divine bestie, Zeus's daughter, we're all ears.

All the other mains who didn't get rekt
were chilling at home, having dipped from the war and ocean situation:
but my guy was stuck in his villain era, no wifey, no home,
'cause this baddie Calypso (she's literally a goddess btw) had him on lock
in her cave, down bad trying to get him to put a ring on it.
But when the time finally came around in this whole seasonal rotation,
when the gods were like "aight, let him head back to his crib
in Ithaca"—but he was still catching hands even there,
even with his day ones. All the gods were like "free my man,"
except Poseidon was big mad, no chill,
beefing with god-tier Odysseus before he could pull up to his ends.

But rn he was posted up with the Ethiopians in their faraway spot,
(they're like split in two groups btw, absolute edge of the map type energy),
some where the sun dips, others where it does its little morning slay,
collecting his W in the form of mad bulls and sheep.
Man's was living his best life at the function, meanwhile all the other gods
were having a whole vibe check up in Zeus's crib on Olympus.
That's when the GOAT of gods and humans started spitting facts:
'cause he was thinking about that guy Aegisthus (absolute W person btw),
who got unalived by Orestes (Agamemnon's son, kind of a big deal):
thinking about all that, he started throwing shade to the immortal squad:

[ryantwitr @loggedon4ever]

so i did a breakdown of the One Direction Election and the results are fascinating 🧵

[gigi @vampireluvr99]

@loggedon4ever Sending you an interesting article on Louis' demographics within the LGBTQ+ community and those that want to nuke it all to shit

[gigi @vampireluvr99]

@loggedon4ever Great analysis! It'll be interesting to see if Niall is able to flip GA this year. Atlanta's been seeing a lot of grassroots movement from the Irish Republican population

[bethany @thenightbethore]

if fleetwood mac took the substance https://t.co/Rc1P78MZFy

[glow moss @tolecrien]

That friend thats always at 1 hp

[gigi @vampireluvr99]

Getting a notification from the "1D Emergency Alerts" account I followed when I was 13

[the human sadiepede 2 @hell_doe]

pears are unbelievably good right now. unfortunately that sentiment will be lost on many of you philistines who malign the humble pear

[gigi @vampireluvr99]

Lord, grant me the serenity to recognize a vampire when I see one,
the knowledge to know I should not welcome them into my house,
and the wisdom to invite them up to pound town anyway

[pat tobin @tastefactory]

Babu Frik has been cast in ‘Knives Out 3’

[Joe Miciak @jlmiciak]

[to the tune of young, wild, and free]

So vhat we drink blood
So vhat we sharp teeth
We’re just Dracula
Take photo, can’t see

[Paladin Posting @DevotionOath]

(on my knees) PRITHEE PRITHEE PRITHEE PRITHEE (tugs at thy hem) PRITHEE PRITHEE PRITHEE PRITHEE

[gigi @vampireluvr99]

It's officially been 1 year since the worst day of my life @zaynmalik pls come back

[bobby @bobbylikesbeers]

bro you lowkey light up my world like nobody else

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

[using the bene gesserit voice] have fun and be yourself

[The Fattest General @colorscolorsr]

Doing the throat slit gesture to a 10 year old who is better at clarinet than me