Henry (Comedy/Jokes)

putting my account in Sport Mode

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

I love having a crappy band and a tiny room that leaks and stupid hair and transgressive fiction aspirations and weed paraphernalia and zero dollars. I will never be dragged into the 21st century! I will remain in the 90s forever!

[Teejus Christ @teejus_saves]

Pull up to the coffee shop with no pants but the lady smile and tell me I have a cool car + big penis and ask me for my number

[danny @d4nnytye]

sorry to preach but it is insane to me that the history of youth movements is made up of young people fighting for the right to be considered whole human beings (with political agency and sexual freedom and cultural value) and now everyone just wants to be a baby forever

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

It is very annoying to me that the market is crashing in real life but also in the soccer game I play on my phone. I really can’t catch a break, can I?

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

Taking ibuprofen every day might be killing my stomach lining but it feels soooooooo gooooooooooooood

[sebastian castillo @bartlebytaco]

i have a new short story out today on x-ray. it is for fans of laughter. and sadness. laughter and sadness. thank you to joshua hebburn

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

Love Val Kilmer too but literally every single tribute tweet sounds AI generated

[richard @richard_normal]

the banks are out of money #TheBanksAreOutOfMoney

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

Talking to my dad on the phone

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

I don’t need screen time limits, I just look at tiktok until I see someone so hot it makes me want to turn off my phone and collapse into the void

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

For real tho I am not cutting my hair or eating red oil again just in case those Ghanaian witchcraft guys are right

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

This is like five minutes from where I grew up

[Wolfe Tone Loc @Chigurh_Crash]

get me to god’s country

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

Landlord increasing my rent ILL STEAL YOUR WHOLE HOUSE PIECE BY OIECE BITCH

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

5’7” fashion

[☆ @mugIerette]

it's different variations of this

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

Looks like your boy is about to get paid! Anyone heard of a company called (Adjust) before? I’m thinking of sending them my bank details.

[differential rent 2 @secondform_]

i was just thinking about how the cool thing about mononoke is how nuanced eboshi is. real ambivalence about the possibility of the interests of the bourgeoisie representing the general interests of society as a whole

[Malcolm Harris @BigMeanInternet]

Canned cocktails are playing a much smaller role in social degeneration than I imagined they would. Society is still degenerating but I don't think canned cocktails have anything to do with it.

[Will Sloan @WillSloanEsq]

Great book.

[Henry (Comedy/Jokes) @veggiebeefsub]

Ignoring everything else, “truisms, or falseisms as we should call them” would be a great Trump throwaway line

[Tamillionaire 🫥 🇮🇳 🤝🇵🇸 @durgaddiction]

one of the stupidest leftslop truisms, or falseisms as we should call them, is that not caring about politics is for the privileged, it's quite frankly the opposite. The privileged care the most about politics