Victor Teka

Mobile eng(Android, KMM). Golang

[96 Wild @96Wild_]

Flamingos in Amboseli

[Moe @moneyacademyKE]

Rich Dad Poor Dad author Robert Kiyosaki says he is $1.2 billion in debt.

[Al Jazeera English @AJEnglish]

Naivasha, a freshwater lake in Kenya’s Rift Valley, supports agriculture, tourism, livestock and domestic water use.

But as a stalled Microsoft-G42 data centre project looms nearby, can the lake continue to meet the needs of local communities?

🔗 https://t.co/Hv4aMkaqbO

[Lazy IT Guy @lazy_IT_guy]

Our CFO noticed we spend $65K a month on a proprietary cybersecurity platform called Sentinel Protocol.

She scheduled a meeting with me to discuss our enterprise software expenditures.

She wanted to know why our licensing fees had increased by 15% year over year.

I told her Sentinel Protocol is the only thing standing between our corporate data and a highly coordinated North Korean ransomware syndicate.

I explained that it uses a polymorphic encryption manifold to dynamically scrub our inbound packets.

She asked if she could get a Zoom meeting with their customer success team to discuss a volume discount.

I told her I'd set it up immediately.

The problem is that Sentinel Protocol doesn't exist.

It's an LLC I registered in Delaware 4 years ago.

I'm Sentinel Protocol.

My entire cybersecurity platform is just a batch script I wrote in 2018 that restarts our routers every Sunday at 3 AM.

The script took me 14 minutes to write.

I realized very early in my career that executives will never question a line item if you use the word quantum or heuristic.

But now the CFO wanted to speak to the vendor.

I went on Fiverr and hired a struggling voice actor from Chicago for $45.

I told him his character was a high-powered Silicon Valley tech bro who just drank 3 Celsius energy drinks.

I wrote him a 4-page script composed entirely of weaponized IT buzzwords.

He showed up to the Zoom call wearing a Patagonia fleece vest and introduced himself as the VP of Customer Success.

He was absolutely phenomenal.

When the CFO asked about lowering the cost, he scoffed.

He told her that downgrading our service tier would expose our legacy endpoints to asynchronous tunneling attacks.

He leaned into the webcam and asked if she was prepared to explain a catastrophic data breach to the shareholders.

She apologized for questioning the infrastructure.

Before the call ended, my Fiverr actor successfully up-sold her on a $12K biometric redundancy package.

I don't even know what a biometric redundancy package is.

I tipped the actor $100 and told him I'd need him again next quarter.

The CFO sent me an email thanking me for managing such a crucial vendor relationship.

I just used the new budget increase to buy a pontoon boat.

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

🚨🔵 BREAKING: MORGAN ROGERS TO CHELSEA, HERE WE GO!

Club to club agreement reached today with Aston Villa to anticipate Arsenal official bid.

£117m proposal has been accepted, as @David_Ornstein reported.

Agreement done with Morgan Rogers on personal terms until June 2032. 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼

[Jakelyne Loiola @Jakelyneloiola_]

DECLARAÇÕES FORTES!

O técnico do Egito, Hossam Hassan, fez duras críticas.

“Vou dizer o que penso independentemente das consequências. Esta foi claramente uma partida manipulada e o mundo inteiro viu isso.”

“E quero dizer mais uma coisa: se eles querem tanto que a Argentina vença, por que chamam todo mundo para vir e participar?”

[Kylian Mbappé @KMbappe]

Madame Celeste Amarilla,
Vous êtes une femme méprisable et indigne de sa fonction.
Vous ne représentez pas le Paraguay, ce pays qui a transpiré la passion et l’honneur tout au long de la compétition. Par votre inconscience et votre racisme décomplexé, le monde entier a déjà oublié le parcours et l’effort historique que vos joueurs ont réalisés durant cette coupe du monde pour laisser place à une dame incompétente donnant la pire image possible de son pays.
Je ne laisserai jamais aux gens comme elle, la liberté de laisser propager leur haine et leur racisme à travers le monde.

[Erling Haaland @Erling]

Well well well 😂

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

The vikings. 🚣‍♂️🥁

Beautiful to see, fantastic team making history and fantastic fan base. 🔊🇳🇴

@Majorleaguemadd 🎥🔝

[Ridwan @ridwan_on_x]

You might have a job but still feel unemployed.

[Cornelius K. Ronoh @itskipronoh]

The ninja who edited this Gachau video should be arrested immediately. It’s crazy! 😂😂

[/ˈhjuː.mə.nɔɪd/ @__ciox__]

I have a relatively different story. Kenyans pay, especially when it matters. We pay for internet, we pay for movies, etc.

It may not be millions, but you can make something with little friction.

We built this app in 2024 for a client. High school students pay to access ‘uchambuzi’

During holidays, the owner makes around 200k or thereabouts

He did a few things right. @vicky_teka and I also did good work with the app. @WEGNERJOASH did great work with streaming. The owner is also very aggressive with marketing. He also got the content right.

You have to get a lot of things right. But it’s possible. That’s the idea.

[Kones. @BCherich]

This is probably the third or fourth Developer I hear saying they stopped building for the local market.

[David Oladapo @oladapodev]

Keep going at this rate, and you will have more endpoints than users

[Larry Madowo @LarryMadowo]

This was just a side quest for Arsenal anyway.

They were never supposed to get this far

[Chelsea FC @ChelseaFC]

Come and visit London’s Home of Trophies. 🏆

Book your Stadium Tour at Stamford Bridge now. ⭐️⭐Come and visit London’s Home of Trophies. 🏆

Book your Stadium Tour at Stamford Bridge now. ⭐️⭐Come and visit London’s Home of Trophies. 🏆

Book your Stadium Tour at Stamford Bridge now. ⭐️⭐Come and visit London’s Home of Trophies. 🏆

Book your Stadium Tour at Stamford Bridge now. ⭐️⭐Come and visit London’s Home of Trophies. 🏆

Book your Stadium Tour at Stamford Bridge now. ⭐️⭐Come and visit London’s Home of Trophies. 🏆

Book your Stadium Tour at Stamford Bridge now. ⭐️⭐️

[Chelsea FC @ChelseaFC]

Mourinho says he doesn't keep runner-up medals so he threw it to an Arsenal supporter. #CFC

[César Azpilicueta @CesarAzpi]

Dear football,

Today, I want to share with you that this season will be my last as a professional footballer. After so many years living my dream, I feel it’s time to start a new chapter in my life.

Being honest, even though I have been preparing myself for this moment, I found it hard to write this letter. After 20 seasons , many people have played an important role in my career.

When I first kicked a ball as a child in Pamplona with my schoolmates, I never imagined the amazing journey ahead. I’m grateful for every moment: the wins, the tough losses, the challenges, and most of all, the people I’ve met and the friendships I’ve made along the way.

To my teammates, coaches, and every staff member at all the clubs I’ve been lucky to be part of, thank you for helping me grow as a person and a player every day. Wearing the shirts of CA Osasuna, Olympique Marseille, Chelsea FC, Atlético de Madrid, Sevilla FC, and representing my country at the biggest stages has been a true privilege. Every moment has meant so much to me…

[jacob juma @kabetes]

Imagine Murkomen and Dennis Itumbi comprehending complex land transaction issues? Too complex for them. Itumbi is functionally illiterate.