Rob Menke

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

That I leave the office each day without a single gunshot wound amazes me to no end.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

#DollyParton and #TimCurry? Truly the end times are upon us.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

We lost #PenelopeKeith. “To the Manor Born” will always be a classic.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

Some idiot is using my email address for @UberEats and there’s no way to contact customer support to get it removed except by creating an account first. That does not bode well for customer UX on the site should I ever consider using it.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

@stem_feed And water is one atom away from being a poisonous gas. Reminiscent of the dihydrogen monoxide scare that duped a bunch of city officials. People are idiots everywhere. https://t.co/PjedpJDXDN

[Forrest Brazeal @forrestbrazeal]

every acquisition announcement from a tech company

[Dr Helen Ingram @drhingram]

I wonder whether there will be a mass at his funeral?

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

@gregdare @Political_Kris @WorldBollard @TonyHom33 And he had the green “walk” light for a full three seconds if not more. The car ran the red.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

We lost #RichardMoll. Surprised to learn that he was 80 years old. Then I am annoyed when I realize that it has been 40 years since Night Court was on the air.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

@witconomist @Grady_Booch Or an alicorn.

[andrej @reactive_dude]

how javascript devs create new projects (subtitles)

[Santiago @svpino]

Scrum is a cancer.

I've been writing software for 25 years, and nothing renders a software team useless like Scrum does.

Some anecdotes:

1. They tried to convince me that Poker is a planning tool, not a game.

2. If you want to be more efficient, you must add process, not remove it. They had us attending the "ceremonies," a fancy name for a buttload of meetings: stand-ups, groomings, planning, retrospectives, and Scrum of Scrums. We spent more time talking than doing.

3. We prohibited laptops in meetings. We had to stand. We passed a ball around to keep everyone paying attention.

4. We spent more time estimating story points than writing software. Story points measure complexity, not time, but we had to decide how many story points fit in a sprint.

5. I had to use t-shirt sizes to estimate software.

6. We measured how much it cost to deliver one story point and then wrote contracts where clients paid for a package of "500 story points."

7. Management lost it when they found that 500 story points in one project weren't the same as 500 story points on another project. We had many meetings to fix this.

8. Imagine having a manager, a scrum master, a product owner, and a tech lead. You had to answer to all of them and none simultaneously.

9. We paid people who told us whether we were "burning down points" fast enough. Weren't story points about complexity instead of time? Never mind.

I believe in Agile, but this ain't agile.

We brought professional Scrum trainers. We paid people from our team to get certified. We tried Scrum this way and that other way. We spent years doing it.

The result was always the same: It didn't work.

Scrum is a cancer that will eat your development team. Scrum is not for developers; it's another tool for managers to feel they are in control.

But the best about Scrum are those who look you in the eye and tell you: "If it doesn't work for you, you are doing it wrong. Scrum is anything that works for your team."

Sure it is.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

#BobBarker RIP. If they don’t play the sad version of “The Price Is Right” theme at his memorial I shall be very disappointed.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

@Grady_Booch I realize why John Searle was so adamant about machines not having the capability of thinking. I still think his reasoning was specious, but I understand his motivations. This irrational exuberance lead to the first AI Winter and now it looks like history is repeating itself.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

We lost #PaulReubens. I blame the change to 𝕏. I blame everything on the change to 𝕏.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

Saturday in the Park with Paul.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

#TreatWilliams, who played Roger Mortis in the greatest buddy-cop/zombie movie ever made, has passed on. (He did other stuff too.)

“Well, that was… a movie, I suppose” — Actual audience member reaction from the first screening of “Dead Heat” in Berkeley, CA.

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

@klerk79383390 @analyticsaurabh @ryanjanssen @Grady_Booch I refuse to accept criticism from a company that won’t allow their programmers to use unsigned integers in C++.

[Randall Munroe @xkcd]

Noise Filter https://t.co/zdPq4vGXTT

[Rob Menke @wabewalker]

“In a stunning twist, #DonLemon will be joining Fox News as their new reactionary rabble-rouser, and #TuckerCarlson will go to CNN to do critical analysis of the MAGA movement.”