Wayne Berninger

#UpcomingKenBurnsProjects

[Wayne Berninger @wayneberninger]

If I have seen fervor, it is by standing on the shudders of giants.

[Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy]

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that so much to ask for?

[HAMSKY ♥️ @HamskyHbb]

freshman year, i walked into the wrong lecture hall on the first day and was too embarrassed to leave. so i sat down, took notes, and told myself i'd quietly disappear after the first week. i did not disappear. for three weeks i did every reading for a class i was never enrolled in. the professor started calling me "our friend in the back." on midterm day he handed out blue books, looked right at me, and said...

[Sniper Barbie @LadyRed_6]

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to get through exams right now, so please start eating better and exercising.

[Lin-Manuel Rwanda @facebookvillain]

ashing my nature valley bar out the window like a cigarette

[Paul Butler @paulgb]

People who have seen The Odyssey on film, how does it rank compared to the book and the minivan?

[your other mom @difficultpatty]

Humans beings weren't meant to endure this much two factor authentication.

[Wayne Berninger @wayneberninger]

An iniquity of cats marching in the university homecoming parade, handing out little US flags to all the kids. #UpcomingKenBurnsProjects

[Ashkenazi Splash @TheGimpyNinja]

Schmitt: Do you believe that a 7 nation army couldn’t hold you back?
Jack Smith : That is Jack White

[Schrödinger's Litter Box @Brewjew308]

"What would you say if I told you we had reports of you suckin' on chili dogs behind the tastee freeze?"

Jack Smith: "Um, that's Jack & Diane."

[FireFighterDev @fire_starter457]

If feeding a hungry child accidentally benefits an "undeserving" child, I am prepared to live with this devastating outcome.

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

I’m sorry but the idea of voluntarily paying your state government an extra $50 for the ‘Don’t Tread On Me’ license plate will never stop being funny to me

[Margaret🌴Siegien 🐦📷 @margaretsiegien]

I'm surprised Trump hasn't invited the Cornell 7 to the White House for McDonald's yet.

[Wayne Berninger @wayneberninger]

Unites Airlines

[Daractenus @Daractenus]

Misspelling the name of your own country in a document about super intelligence is an impressive feat.

[Derek Zarban @DerekZarban]

@amandanvc "Webster's Dictionary defines 'sexual assault' as..."

[📿 @amandanvc]

I want Cornell to publish the essays they made those rapists write

[Maryam @hell_line0]

"She was going to a frat house, she knew what she was going to get."

Oh yeah?

If that's what frat houses are for, close them all entirely, immediately.

[abundant mineral deposit @deektome]

i’m pretty sure therefore i am

[Lynne @_ayandamay]

If we start destroying the lives of young rapists, we might avoid having old rapists in charge of everything in the future.!!

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

I wonder how long before one of those seven Cornell frat boys is invited to speak at the next Turning Point USA event.