This was Sunday and in that moment I had all the confidence in the world. It’s a foreign feeling and if you meet me away from a race track you’ll question if it’s actually me.
I wish I could move without thought like I do in the flag stand. It’s so freeing, so liberating, and so relaxing. Yes, relaxing! Under the highest possible pressure on the grandest of stages I am relaxed. Outside of the world of having flags in hand? Well, that’s a different matter.
If you don’t know someone with autism it’ll be hard to understand. If you see me elsewhere from a track, I’m probably in the midst of what I call “positional warfare”. I don’t really know how I should be in the space I’m in. It goes like, “Arms folded? Arms out? Hands in? Do I look like a t-rex? Should I look up? Oh my goodness, random eye contact! Look down, wait, is this okay? Yes? No?”
It’s tiring, and out in the world there’s no off switch. When in my element this isn’t a thing. There isn’t this questioning of every movement I do. Autism is such an intriguing, and often frustrating thing to have, because of this. Millions of eyes, the highest of stakes, and immense pressure? Easy! Random social interaction with someone I wasn’t expecting? Or perhaps a simple greeting by someone at a restaurant? Now those are the things that I could easily see cracking under pressure!
I almost hesitate to promote this, because it wasn't really intended to be a piece. I just sort of sat down and it came out. Maybe someone else out there has the same type of day today, and it'll speak to them.
https://t.co/xSMUDOrHcC
It’s autism awareness month and I often have to remind myself to be aware of it in myself. This morning was a prime example.
This picture? I live for this… the march to the flagstand. I have one of the most visible jobs at the track and I thrive and crave the pressure of it. It’s a nonstop adrenaline ride that requires hyper focus every second that cars are on track. That’s easy for me. What isn’t easy are the moments off the stand.
Today is a test session so it isn’t a full show. I get my radio elsewhere and had to ask where to go and which one to grab. I was awkward, unsure of myself, and my answers to questions were delayed. I got a bit down on myself because, after all, my visible job requires lightning quick decisions and reflexes, and when I have a call to race control it’s got to be crisp, pure, and clearly said. None of those traits applied to my attempt at socializing this morning.
It’s okay though. It’s no secret that I’m on the spectrum. An hour after my awkward socializing endeavor, I walked through the grandstands, up the ladder, and was once again in the environment I thrive in.
Also 3x N.C. State graduate who grew up in Jacksonville and attended White Oak High School. Can confirm as a native eastern North Carolinian: very proud.
🚀Congratulations to North Carolina School of Science and Math alum Christina Koch for being part of today’s Artemis II launch. North Carolina is proud of you. https://t.co/rVTG7nyyK8
The cool thing about this photo is that 99% of buzzer-beater shots today show fans holding up their phones, recording the moment. But since everyone expected UConn to foul and stop the clock, no one had time to pull their phones out when the turnover happened. Just pure fandom.
Will Wade on NC State 👀
"I think some of the things have been mischaracterized on how I left, but I'm not gonna get into a back-and-forth. The people who need to know, know. When there's a situation like this, everybody has to cover, let's put it that way. I'm at peace with how I left... Look, they're pretty mad for a coach they didn't think was very good"
@Kitkat_1216 Lastly, I failed to mention in my original post, my son has ASD and is the most amazing human I know. Our travels to hockey arenas are so special.
@Kitkat_1216 Lastly Minnesota and Chicago from our perspective. And a photo of us at our home arena, MSG. Thank you for the excuse to look back and smile. I hope these provide inspiration for your amazing son.