Gabby

[JJ's Axes and Ales @jjsaxes]

OK SIOUX FALLS!!! Drawing time! Enter to win a free $200 giftcard! This gets you a group of 8-10 for 1 hour! Its a perfect gift or chance to entertain all those friends you have and… https://t.co/vROQ7KKZ33

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

One positive part about this e.coli outbreak is that I threw away my bag of romaine 2 hours after I bought it, opposed to the normal 2 weeks it stays unopened in my fridge.

[LIZZO @lizzo]

Your 20’s are for YOURSELF not anyone else. Spend them selfishly trying to UNLEARN all the bullshit we’re taught about “growing up” when we were children.

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

@harpstring_hum @TabithaDeVoss I’m not even sure. But I saw there was a narwhal skull for sale on an oddities page I follow, and mind. blown. 🤯

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

Not to sound too ignorant, but I just found out Narwhals are real creatures and not mythical beings, like Unicorns. I think the giant horn threw me off. 🐋🦄

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

@TabithaDeVoss I feel like I’ve been lied to my entire life.

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

Watching shows like NCIS and gettting annoyed because the bodies don’t look anything like they would that person died from that actual cause.

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

When you say “excuse me” but what you really mean is “let’s not stand in front of the fucking door”.

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

Sugar-free caramel is the biggest oxymoron I’ve ever heard. What do y’all even think caramel is made of?

Keep that science experiment out of my coffee, my desserts, and my life, thx

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

People: jeez, dying is expensive

Funeral Director: but not as expensive as your 2 divorces & 3 weddings

#funeralhumor #putthefuninfuneral

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

And that’s the last time I eat Taco Johns before going to Anytime Fitness..

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

@CNN - STAHP W THE MILLION NOTIFICATIONS. WE GET IT! HE’S FIRED 🔥

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

Did I just hear @lizzo on a Sanford Health commercial? #FEELINGOODASHELL also, if you're reading, Lizzo, I LOVE YOU, QUEEN!

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

Being a funeral director won't make me a millionaire, but I sure do get a lot of free lunches so ... 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

staying up til 3 AM writing your own obituary: procrastination or being really, really prepared? #mortuaryschoolprobs

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

Legit just watched a lady order a @SUBWAY sandwich for herself and her dog.

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

How to School:
1. finish assignment way early
2. read book to check work
3. become absorbed by cool info
4. submit assignment late as result

[Gabby @wesminstergabby]

What a person does with their shopping cart after he or she is done with it tells me about half of what I need to know about them.