WilderLauraIngalls

The smart ass sarcastic bitch your parents didn't want you to become. Don't ever let the glass go empty for at that point it’s too late ❤️💋🍺🍹

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

Having sex to music is great, til you start getting in rhythm with the song. My tongue will never recover from "freebird" but was a hell of a great time

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#UninvitedHolidayGuests Aunt flow

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#NarcoticMovies V for Vicodin

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#NarcoticMovies Murder on the opiate express

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

When you’re positive no action shall occur

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#MyFourMainFoodGroups Chocolate (of course), steak (need protein somewhere), rockstars (energy to keep me moving) and boobs (dairy free but momma needs fun)

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#ThingsIUsuallySayBeforeSex Shhh!!!! Telling me your name is a waste of that tongues time

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#WednesdayWisdom

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

Just left dentist, long weekend with a toothache...guess who the only person losing weight at thanksgiving is?

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#TuesdayThoughts I just can’t with this, I’m a thick girl but really?

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

@MeIsYourApp

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#ImNotInTheMood To work after being up half the night with this fucking toothache

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

I discovered massage porn recently...I really want a massage now but I’m afraid if it’s straight forward I’ll take it as a personal attack on my ego

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#UnlikelyGiftBasketItem Pregnancy tests

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

@RaylaRimpson Spaghetti sandwiches, with lots of butter,are way more fun especially the looks you get fine dining

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

@RaylaRimpson Are you trying to break twitter

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#WhiteLiesToMyself Cmon what’s one more slice

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

@RaylaRimpson

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#MondayMotivation I love #princessbride

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#StarWarsWesterns Seven sith for seven jedi

[WilderLauraIngalls @wilder_ingalls]

#StarWarsWesterns El degobah