Hot take, and this one is for my close friends.
I know some of you havenât forgotten that I lost my dad. But I also feel like, after a while, people forget to remember. The check-ins reduce. The awareness fades. Life moves on for everyone else, which is fair tbh. Itâs not a personal thing so thatâs normal.
But whe I decline invites and people ask, âWhy arenât you coming? What happened?ïżœïżœïżœ Iâm always a bit stunned. Like⊠take a wild guess? Everything is still fresh. I lost a parent. Someone actually died in my life this year.
It may not feel that deep to you, but it is to me.
Sometimes Iâm just not in the mood. Sometimes I donât have the capacity. And yes, in an ideal world, youâd still be checking in, because grief doesnât expire (mine isnât even up to 8 months). đ
And when people say things like, âYou carry grief well,â I honestly donât know what that means. How exactly am I supposed to carry it? Loudly? Quietly? Performatively?
Just because Iâm not always talking about it or posting about it doesnât mean itâs not heavy. This wasnât a random loss. This was my dad. A parent. My person.
So, yeah. đ«