Demetra Allen

If you really love someone, even if there was a million reasons to leave, you would still look for the one reason to stay.

[Demetra Allen @zardalon]

TEACHER: What comes after 69? STUDENT: Mouthwash. TEACHER: Get out.

[Demetra Allen @zardalon]

The 1st was masturbating, but that just made funerals awkward.

[Sherly Mathews @94Sabaneeva]

If you're talking behind my back you're in a good position to kiss my ass.

[Terry Richards @illyuminarskiy1]

The road to success...Is always under construction.

[Karen Wargo @AntipRybalkin]

Volleyball is just a more intense version of don't let the balloon hit the floor.

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

I don't care if it's 5am. I don't consider it "tomorrow" until I wake up.

[Shirley Morrison @nkrakhina]

New condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's gonna get your paychecks.

[Florence Shelton @vgerasimik]

What are the largest ants in the world? Gi-ants!

[Gitusmita Lahkar @GitusmitaLahkar]

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

[Annalee Johnson @KiryaLankevich]

"You should've come with us!" "Well, inviting me would've been nice..."

[Demetra Allen @zardalon]

No matter what, don't let your emotions overpower your intelligence.

[Ruth West @77Elfira]

Don't judge a persons choices if you don't understand their reasons.

[Demetra Allen @zardalon]

SWAG = (S)omething (W)e (A)ll (G)et tired of hearing

[Demetra Allen @zardalon]

I suddenly realized why we cant see the future, because its still buffering.

[Demetra Allen @zardalon]

2011: I'm sexy and I know it. 1836: I'm physically attractive and I'm aware of this statement.

[Demetra Allen @zardalon]

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

[Demetra Allen @zardalon]

If you dont know shit, dont say shit.

[Demetra Allen @zardalon]

My mouth automatically says "shit" when something wrong happens.

[Hazel Lopez @pkuzevanov]

Saying "Thats crazy" when you haven't been paying attention to what someone's saying.

[Jean Washington @chukhontseva191]

Did you make it home safely? "No, I died 15 times."