Anne

[Alec Sulkin @thesulk]

ICE agents in Boston exhausted after chasing Kenyan man for 26 miles.

[Anne @zigtacm]

@anthonysnitzer @MeltBarGrilled Hey Snitz, happy New Year! Are you on Bluesky?

[Anne @zigtacm]

@InternetHippo You might say the sky's the limit

[audrey farnsworth @audipenny]

(opening my god damn email) there better not be any god damn emails in here

[Mike Primavera @primawesome]

I need a coffee so rich and bold it owns a cabin in the woods where it hunts people for sport.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

This feels like the news they’d get in a muppet movie that convinces all the muppets to put on one last show to stop them.

[Michael Scherer @michaelscherer]

The Rosetta tweet

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

I don't know how it's possible, but they say the whole thing just disses the shit outta Drake.

[Anne @zigtacm]

@primawesome Remember, you never go full guittard

[Anne @zigtacm]

@TheAndrewNadeau Didn't Ludacris just do this?

[Ben Wexler @mrbenwexler]

If Tim Walz walks out onstage wiping his hands on a greasy rag because he just fixed the transmission on the campaign bus, we win all 50 states

[Anne @zigtacm]

@LouisPeitzman It's my go-to swear, I'm not proud of it

[paperwash© @PaperWash]

as president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password

[JBro @Jaybro006]

If you loved "Friends", you're going to love the new sitcom "Acquaintances" about people who know each other but hide when they see one another at the store.

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

You can just start calling yourself an olympic hopeful. You don't have to fill out a form or anything.

[Anne @zigtacm]

@angiebaby709 @AdamBroud I love this 🤣

[Mike Primavera @primawesome]

Dogs should get a Purge Day every July 5th.

[Anne @zigtacm]

@primawesome I need a second phone 🤣