Adam 🐀

I'm dumb.

Designer. Hundredaire. Gnarcissist. 🏸

[Adam Riff™ @adamriffs]

Presenting THE 2024 DRAFT:
https://t.co/fspLm0uEuV

A year-end list unlike any other, as selected by: @jeffbaum @airlinem @itsstanpark @decayingdv @drewlazor @typewrighter @mrmillerrussell @mollyeichel @adamriffs @zombiologist

[Adam 🐀 @zombiologist]

Currently explaining what a Shaq-a-Roni is to my one day old daughter.

[Adam 🐀 @zombiologist]

@elonmusk Sounds good to me bro.

[laurinha 🦠 @ecto_fun]

nobody’s ever dunked on babies this hard and never will

[Adam 🐀 @zombiologist]

@CampbellNewman Hey get a load of this fucking bag of shit that looks like a giant sweaty thumb.

[Adam 🐀 @zombiologist]

@THR Are the A-listers in the room with us?

[ؘ𝓛ara @halodosol]

the fact that only these 5 lines are enough to wake up an entire fanbase

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

A nutritionally complete chocolate milkshake-like substance should be piped into every home at the municipal level. You could still cook or go out for fun, but if you were feeling lazy, or you were impoverished, you could simply consume The City Meal directly from the tap.

[Adam 🐀 @zombiologist]

@sockjig You're famous to me buddy. 🧦

[Adam 🐀 @zombiologist]

::stuffing stolen money into my Wranglers:: come'on guys, be more Patriotic like me... certainly CTE-Free Broot Farbe.

[Brett Favre @BrettFavre]

If you’re born in the USA or an American citizen and you put other countries above us, then that’s unpatriotic. That’s it.
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[Adam 🐀 @zombiologist]

@chiproytx Texas will be blue in my lifetime you nob. Lol.

[Granite Man 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @GraniteDhuine]

I remember when a computer didn't automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

[Adam 🐀 @zombiologist]

@w00t @systemofadown @themarsvolta @deftones Lucky. Have fun dude.

[Adam 🐀 @zombiologist]

Lol. Lmao.

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

The Army says they made a $11M promotional deal with The Rock & the UFL which didn’t lead to a single new recruit

38 recruits actually ended up de-listing instead.

(Source: https://t.co/m8RPRsUbwk)

[thomas violence @thomas_violence]

new from me: the Dems are exploring some "alternative options" around Biden's candidacy – chief among them either putting him in an a sort of Gundam style mecha suit (or more lightweight combat exo skeleton), or "doing a Hereditary with [him]"

[Pat Casey @Pat_Kc]

Maybe it was bad when everyone in the world all caught a disease that gives you brain damage

[Adam 🐀 @zombiologist]

@Teslaconomics Is "what my Cybertruck can really do" in the room with us now?

[Nieltown @nieltown]

Heavy is the butt that poops the pant