Jacqueline Goodman

When times get rough you'll find out who your real friends are.

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

[Jacqueline Goodman @2015Stepanyan]

I hope you choke on the lies you tell; but then again.. Its kind of hard to swallow that much bullsh*t.

[Barbara Hooper @MrVasilkina]

An update that requires me to restart my laptop is an update that is never getting installed.

[Suzanne Olson @AykuiKnyshova]

Birthdays are good for you, the more you have the longer you live.

[Mary Stafford @96Zavgorodko]

It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.

[Jacqueline Goodman @2015Stepanyan]

Call me virginity. because once you lose me, i ain't coming back.

[Katherine Sowell @LakeevVityusha]

Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.

[Colleen Jones @KutsevolSunny]

Two types of honest people in this world are small children and drunk people.

[Betty Andrus @BevfimiyOo]

Sitting at Home: "Oh. It's raining. Cool." Sitting at School: "HOLY CRAP IT'S RAINING!! LOOK!"

[Jacqueline Goodman @2015Stepanyan]

Remember and enjoy this moment because before you know it, it will be Monday morning.

[Jacqueline Goodman @2015Stepanyan]

If the shoe fits... buy it in every color.

[Jacqueline Goodman @2015Stepanyan]

"Dad, was there colored TV when you were a kid?"

[Neva Mudd @91Nyrkovskiy73]

Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.

[Jacqueline Goodman @2015Stepanyan]

You're angry at me for that? That's cool, just let me know when you grow up.

[Staci Frederick @bulkovamilosla1]

Does February March? No, but April May.

[Rose Barber @73Flaviya]

What the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds.

[Jacqueline Goodman @2015Stepanyan]

Women should not have children after 35. Really... 35 children are enough.

[Jacqueline Goodman @2015Stepanyan]

Who else hates the sound of their own voice on video? >.<

[Jacqueline Goodman @2015Stepanyan]

To do is to be [Descartes]. To be is to do [Voltaire]. Do be do be do [Frank Sinatra].

[Alice Lang @1Sminyaylova]

Everytime I think I've hit the bottom, someone lends me a shovel.