Mildred Ashworth

It's so easy for people to believe the worst about you but it's so hard for people to believe the good about you.No DM

[Mildred Ashworth @5eRushana]

It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

If you're a small guy in prison, I bet the worst cellmate you could get would be a big angry ventriloquist who misses his dummy.

[Mildred Ashworth @5eRushana]

Shakespeare: "To be or not to be." Satre: "To do is to be." Socrates: "To be is to do." Scooby Doo: "Do be do be do."

[Ada Keith @2016_issa]

Son asked about sex..."Well son, it's like bees. When they poke something, their stinger gets ripped off & they die. Then a bird eats them."

[Mildred Ashworth @5eRushana]

Sober, we don't know each other. Drunk, we are best friends.

[Mildred Ashworth @5eRushana]

Today I broke my personal record of consecutive days alive!

[Mildred Ashworth @5eRushana]

To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.

[Stella Kindred @76Akakiy]

Making faces at a baby when the parents aren't looking.

[Linda Woolf @Zbiglaya82Pe]

If they ain't gonna ride for you then they shouldn't be riding with you.

[Juanita Day @pudusears]

Don't you hate when somebody ask you to do something then complain how you do it?BITCH I AINT HAVE TO DO SHIT FOR YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE TF?

[Jacqueline Goodman @podushkom]

That awkward moment when you want to laugh in a serious situation..

[Mildred Ashworth @5eRushana]

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

[Mildred Ashworth @5eRushana]

That awkward moment when you see a 10 year old child with a better phone than yours.

[Mildred Ashworth @5eRushana]

2chainz is the guy from iCarly that sells bagels

[Mildred Ashworth @5eRushana]

A new study found that the number one reason more men die before their wives is because 'they want to'.

[Mildred Ashworth @5eRushana]

Antique - A magic word that makes something old and useless suddenly priceless.