you don't know me

always awkward

[Chicago Blackhawks News Hub @HawksNewsHub]

Blackhawks have declined a heavy offer for the 🐱

[Bleacher Nation @BleacherNation]

OK, Now There’s Another Cubs-Corey Seager Connection, and I’m Officially Paying Attention - https://t.co/nvauXdM3kL

[carl @CarlsBeef]

I’m not trying to be a little bitch but the Cubs need to wake up and get it going. 1 run wins this game. One goddamn run. Please for the love of Christ in heaven just score it already.

[carl @CarlsBeef]

The Cardinals won which makes tonight an absolute Must Win for the Cubs. Jon Lester taking the ball vs. Tyler Mahle. It's Hall of Fame vs. Hall of How'd He Make It To The Big Leagues. Good vs. Evil. Big Dick vs Dick Baller. There's no time to be pussies. Let's score 20

[Bee @dazedandsincere]

#realmoms #MothersDay

[Stephen_With_A_Ph @with_a_ph23]

Sorry about your eye, kid, but when 2 Legit 2 Quit comes on, you need to give me more room than that.

[❤️‍🔥Sardonic Tart❤️‍🔥 @SardonicTart]

I'm sorry your boyfriend tried to tint his car windows by himself.

[FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud]

Welcome to your 40’s. Air has calories now.

[Tony @tsm560]

You can never make everyone happy, no matter how hard you try, but pissing everybody off is so easy.

[Lisa, Duchess of Netflix @MsLisaM]

Last time I had a date, I did a few shots before to 'loosen up' but then I thought he'd smell whiskey on my breath and think I'm an alcoholic, so I swigged some mouthwash. Then I thought he'd think I was trying to cover up bad breath, so I just canceled the date and stayed home.

[dire wolf @ADDiane]

I've never been rich but I think I'd be good at it.

[MLB GIFS @MLBGIFs]

🎵 These Eyes 🎵

[TN Cherry @OhHell_Cherry]

I'm not medicated but you can bet your sweet ass that I should be.

[you don't know me @AYerbey]

@Reebok 😉😋😬 #reebot

[you don't know me @AYerbey]

You ever eat something so sweet that it actually turns you on?

[Syrup Tishus @Syrup_Tishus]

When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east".

[Rubsomedirtonit™️ @_rubdirtonit]

Suck less. *Tuesday starter tweet.

[you don't know me @AYerbey]

I just big sighed so hard at work that I'm pretty sure I pulled a muscle in my back.