Abby Duvall

[Abby Duvall @AbbyDuvall]

@YixiangLiaoPhD @RushMedical @RushCancer Haha thanks Yixiang❤️

[ghosthoney @tylergaca]

this year I do wanna learn to run on all fours really fast almost too fast

[Rob DenBleyker @RobDenBleyker]

OK let's try this again, ordering a nothing burger from McDonalds. this time nothing else in the order.

will they cancel it? deliver an empty bag? i am doing this so you don't have to

[Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps]

Danger presented by Indiana

[Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad]

*every phone in the court room buzzes at the same time*

Judge: ok we’re going to break for 5 minutes so we can ⚠️BeReal⚠️ and then come back to hear closing arguments

[ebonically intelligent papi 🌻 @julianakilrose]

I'm sorry

[Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969]

they’ll figure it out if they get hungry enough

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

George Lucas: This scene is set in the roughest bar you can imagine, filled with violent scumbags who'll cut your arm off if you look at them sideways
John Williams: What kind of music will they be playing?
George Lucas: Light jazz

[Abby Duvall @AbbyDuvall]

I don’t want a try guy, I want a guy that’ll try

[charlie @chunkbardey]

Don’t Talk To Me Before I’ve Had My Anxious Puttering About

[Django Gold @django]

people in front of you in line love being like, “and what is a ‘bagel?’”

[izzy @spidermannwh]

the don’t worry darling drama is getting more and more absurd like what do you mean harry styles [spins wheel] spit on [spins wheel] chris pine

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

founder of costco: [drunk as hell] it’s gonna have hot dogs and optometrists

[յոլա եմ գնում @HechLavChem]

Nathan on episode 2 of The Rehearsal

[Larry Swasey @SwaseyShuffle]

I can say with 100% confidence that if Nathan Fielder was given enough time and money he would recreate the Truman Show with no hesitation

[No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen @NoLieWithBTC]

This new commercial from Mothers Against Greg Abbott is one of the best political ads I’ve ever seen.

[TimTam🍫 @CandymanTimTam]

*spits out mouthful of blood* it's gonna take more than that to kill me

Dentist: for the love of God just floss