Albus Dumbledore

Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak.

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

Be a wizard. #stepstosurviveahorrormovie

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

I rather feel like Hamlet's father right about now, except here, there are trains...

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

#for65milliondollars I would return your texts, @Prof__Umbridge.

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

My hand's looking dull...I believe I'm going to start singing "Black or White" now by that studly man, what's his name... @prof___snape

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

#myfavoriteartist is Katy Perry. Don't hate. Although Kanye needs to just gtfo...

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

Alas. Earwax.

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

Number 4- I have always been frightened by goats. #100factsaboutme

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

#Julius Caesar was a wizard. No, really. So was Brutus. That's why he didn't yell while being stabbed. Brutus already Avada Kedavra'd him.

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

#beforetwitter, I communicated the normal way- owls. Now, you go somewhere like Durmstrang to visit the new headmaster, and! No. Owls.

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

There is not much that #isbetterthan music. It's a magic all by itself, and greater than what we do at Hogwarts.

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

#itsscientificallyproven that I only return people's texts when said people do not scare me.

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

Note that a woman has never claimed to own the elder wand. Make of that what you will.

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

What, what, what are you doing? @harry__j_potter are you trying to make all respectable men slap you silly?

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

A wizard once planned to face @L__Voldemort in combat. "Waddiwassi", I recommended. Tragically, I forgot the lack of nose in the equation.

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

Now that I think about it, we haven't had a fun Valentine's Day celebration since Lockhart left. @prof___snape Any ideas, Severus?

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

Never tickle a sleeping dragon. Or poke one in the eye.

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

NAKED TIME!!!!!!!!!!

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

@Prof__Umbridge needs to understand I have better things to do with my time than look at my phone every second. #girlrespect

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

@draco__l_malfoy If that's me in the picture, where'd my beard go? Riddle me that.

[Albus Dumbledore @Al__Dumbledore]

Does anyone care for a leftover Wizard Cracker?... Anyone?