Alan Garber Tho

What up yall its Alan M. Garber, the most ballin Provost Harvard University ever seen! It aint easy to run a school on good looks but damn if I dont pull it off

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

@HarvardTrufacts if you can prove you've had sex in all 76 Harvard libraries then you graduate summa cum laude, no questions asked.

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

@thecrimson Mem Church got no bell? We'll invade Russia if we have to- our freshmen deserve to be rudely awakened with QUALITY CRAFTSMANSHIP

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

FYI Newly renovated Quincy will still be referred to as Old Quincy so that New Quincy- soon to be the Older Quincy- can still be New Quincy

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

For this university to move forward we must replace the Dhall mints with caramel creams #number1priority

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

This just in: Harvard University uncovered to be elaborate front just for Mankiw to sell textbooks. #elaborateruse #supplyanddemand

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

Flyby needs some mo' better articles I mean for real, Hitler's been up there for 2 weeks now

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

Yo @Mike_Parzen_Tho props on the PTP love my man. 4th place aint bad but son you got beat by Folk and Myth ahaha oh man
http://t.co/hOJStTJz

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

Lamont staff want to remind yall that even tho you CAN request every Playboy since 1970 be scanned and emailed to you dont mean you SHOULD

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

'oh I live in Cambridge I wanna go into my dorm'. Nooope! We got rulez for a reason- piggybacking is a felony offense. #gatewaycrime

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

Happy to announce @ChrisBrown will be headlining YardFest this year! It's OK though, we're gonna rig the mic to shock him when he touches it

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

Fresh for '13- you suckas! WGS 111- Recontextualizing Swag ECON 1505- Fiscal Dynamics of Pimping CHEM 72 Metallurgy of Bling

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

@FakeDrewFaust hey yo drew van winkle wake up @Freedingman1 and myself be coming for you

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

I'mma solve every single problem at Harvard by giving Stressbusters like 5000 dollars #alsohappyhour #topshelfonly

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

Webster's defines 'Provost' as "he who possesses the biggest academic dick on campus"

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

Clarification of my previous tweet: #chanukah #sunset

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

This 4:20, light 'em if you got 'em

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

everybody on harvardfml needs a backhand slap of perspective to da face. You people are smart, get out there and fake it till you make it

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

No finals on Sunday because its yo' day of rest hahahahahaha I crack me up

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

@Mike_Parzen_Tho man you dont even gotta go there. You give take home finals we gonna go full Gitmo #preposterous

[Alan Garber Tho @AlanGarberOG]

Just had the best idea next Chanukah we're getting a giant menorah with-wait for it- eight lava lamps. Damn. #visionary