Alex Mwai

Don't miss the point by wondering whether the glass is half full or half empty, glass is refillable. Focus!

[Mihr Thakar @MihrThakar]

You call NCBA and a real person answers within moments. Your issue gets resolved. You hang up satisfied. You call a certain telecom, get routed through clueless bots...eventually you just give up. Strange how a bank can outperform a telecommunications company at communication.

[Timoshenko @Kianangih]

Look at your track record at Parliament vs Sifuna's track record in the Senate.

[Mufti Menk @muftimenk]

No one is more cherished in this world than someone who lightens the burden of another.

[Shad @Shad_khalif]

Wowwww. The reason you see two walls? It’s ingenious! The garden sits on top of an underground parking!🔥🔥 Get in the first gate, turn to the parking. Wowwwww

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

This device could predict incoming phone calls (2000s)

[Rèed @Ian_San254]

Some days we kill 2 birds with one stone . Other days, we use 7 stones to kill one bird,today, a bird almost killed me..

[Gold🤍🌚 @GOLDBABYO]

My husband is a plumber. Emergency calls. Late nights. Got called. Midnight. Burst pipe. Apartment flooding. Single mom. Two kids. Water everywhere. Fixed it. Took three hours. Bill was $400. She had $50. He said “That’s fine.” She knew. Said “It cost more.” He said “That’s what you have. That’s the price.” She tried to pay more later. He refused. She started sending clients. Everyone she knew. My husband’s business grew. Because of her. She became a landlord. Small building. Has a policy.

[Roderick @KyaloFactFile]

A Nairobi lady has sued Safaricom PLC after her KSh 2,700, mistakenly sent via M-Pesa, was used to offset the recipient’s Fuliza debt.

Her reversal request was declined. She has now moved to the High Court challenging that policy as unconstitutional.

When I send money to someone, my intention is clear that I am transferring funds to THAT person. I am not entering into a contract with Safaricom to help them recover loans. I am not agreeing to become a guarantor. I am not volunteering to settle another adult’s overdraft.

How then does my money automatically clear someone else’s debt without my consent?

We must be very careful as a country not to normalise silent policies that shift financial burdens to third parties. Digital convenience should not override basic principles of fairness and property rights.

Yes, the recipient may have agreed to Fuliza terms. But I did not.And this is the core issue.

If money is mistakenly sent and reversal is denied because it has already been swallowed by a debt recovery system, then we are creating a dangerous precedent one where corporations quietly prioritise loan recovery over consumer protection.

At the very least, there should be a clear warning before completing a transaction:“The recipient has an outstanding Fuliza balance. Funds may be used to offset debt. Proceed?”

This case is bigger than 2,700 shillings. It is about how far automated financial systems can go without violating basic rights.

[KUTT THROAT⚔️ @Gatsoxo]

Cinemas need to start live streaming football 😭🤞🏽 with this PSG Bayern game the atmosphere would’ve been insane

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

When I point my remote control directly at the television, it barely works. But if I accidentally sit on it, it somehow switches from Peacock to Netflix, turns on closed captions, and turns the TV on and off four times. 😅 📺

[Tamale @256Rootyherman]

Epiglottis closing the trachea before food enters the lungs coz the idiot talks while eating

[Alex Mwai @Alex_ercise]

@AdamCSharp My dad always used to say “laughter is the best medicine.”
Lovely man, terrible doctor.

[Chino @ChinoUTD]

🎙️ Vincent Kompany on Michael Olise Ballon d’Or shouts:

“Olise is doing things you only do against kids… but he’s doing it against Real Madrid.

He plays like he’s not even trying. No stress, no rush… but everything he does is effective.

It looks like nothing is happening, then suddenly he’s beaten two or three players. You can’t stop him.

That’s real quality. It’s not about power, it’s about control, technique, and confidence.

He’s the kind of player that makes you enjoy football again.

Right now, he’s the most technical winger in the game. If we win the Champions League… he has to be in that Ballon d’Or conversation.”

[Vala Afshar @ValaAfshar]

Winners in life compete with dignity and grace.

[Roger Ledbetter @rledbetterCPA]

Teaching my daughter about payroll withholding

She did chores all week so I owe her $10

I hand her $7

> this isn't $10

"right, I withheld the rest"

> what does that mean

"I kept $3 of your money"

> but it's my money

"It was your money"

> what are you even doing with it?

"Funding household infrastructure"

> what

"The roof over your head. The hallway you walk through to get to the bathroom. The door locks that keep strangers out"

> you're charging me for the hallway

"I'm charging you for access to the hallway. The hallway itself was a capital expenditure"

> you're my dad. you're supposed to---

"I'm also your government"

> what if I don't want to pay for the hallway

"Then I can't guarantee the hallway"

> it's a hallway. It's already there

"For now"

She asks what else the $3 covers

"Meals, dispute resolution, nightlight maintenance"

> dispute resolution?

"When your brother takes your toys and I make him give them back. That's taxpayer funded"

> that's just parenting

"That's the Department of Justice"

> what about meals. You already feed me

"That's a social program. Not everyone qualifies"

> I'm your daughter

"Which is why you're currently enrolled"

She wants to see where the money goes

I tell her that would require a FOIA request

> what's that

"A form asking me to show you what I do with your money. Processing time is 6 to 8 weeks"

> 6 weeks to see where my $3 went?

"Could be longer. We're understaffed"

> there's two of you

She asks how she gets any of it back

"It's already spent"

> you spent my money already?

"We had a budget shortfall"

> you just took it 20 seconds ago

"And the deficit existed 30 seconds ago. The timing worked out"

> so I'm not getting it back

"I didn't say that. You might qualify for a refund"

> of my own money

"Correct. You just have to fill out a form telling me how much you made"

> you know how much I made. You paid me

"Right but I need you to tell me how much I paid you"

> so you already know the answer

"The point is compliance"

She asks what happens if she gets the number wrong

"Penalty"

> from the money I don't have because you already spent it?

"We could set up a payment plan"

> I'm 8

"Monthly installments. Very manageable"

> you're going to penalize me for getting wrong a number you already know and then make me pay you back with money you took from me

"Now you're getting it"

> I want to talk to mom

"Mom's not a qualified representative. She can't help you here"

She stormed off to her room saying how this is extortion

Slammed the door

That's my little citizen

I've never been more proud

[staxxx🦅 @papiwontmiss]

Stop leaving y'all kids around them extra old folks. I asked my lil nephew how old he was turning, he said... “If the Lord see fit, 6 in May.”

[Mr PitBull Stories @MrPitbull07]

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.

He lowered his altitude and spotted a woman on the ground.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The woman said, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degrees North latitude and 60 degrees West longitude."
"You must be an Engineer," the balloonist said.

"I am," she replied. "How did you know?"
"Because everything you told me is technically correct, but completely useless."

The woman looked up. "You must be in Management."

"I am," he said. "How did you know?"

"Because you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems."
"And now, somehow, it’s my fault."

[RAZOR BLADE @razorblade300]

🎙️🗣️🇩🇪Serge Gnabry: "I remember when my father gave me money to pay the electricity bill. Instead, I bought a lottery ticket to buy a new car. When I got home, I explained to my father what I had done, and he beat me up. But the next day, when my father woke up and opened the door, there was a new car parked in front of my house.

We all cried, especially me, because the car belonged to the electricity company, and they were there to cut off our electricity, so my father beat me up again." 😂

But today with the fame and money, I can afford anything my dad wants. I even bought him an AMG Benz but he said he can't drive it because it's too fast.”🥰🇩🇪

#football #sergegnabry

[Daniel Njaga @dnjaga1]

@mwende_kyalo_ Moi wasted my generation. When we chanted "Moi must go", we hoped our children would inherit a better Kenya.

Now, 2 graduate daughters, starting where I started:
- no jobs
- no democracy, no freedom
- stagnant economy hobbled by state capture
- 3rd born "trapped" in CBC....

[Machiavelli Bot @UnmodernmanBot]

A man who studies his own patterns with brutal honesty eventually becomes harder to manipulate, because once he understands where he typically bends, panics, or seeks comfort, he can anticipate his own weaknesses and close the gaps before someone else exploits them.