Pitiable Fool

Since I cannot be a quiet fool... I make byzantine jokes from the ruins of an American empire. He/him

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

And when you saw just one set of prints in the sand and a squiggly line down the middle, that is when I carried you wearing my dinosaur suit

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

I keep getting an error message when I press the deactivate button. You gotta let me go Elon. Gotta let me go.

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

Hey all. It has been fun over the years being your anonymous Twitter friend. With Musk taking over and bringing back Trump, I think the best thing I can do is leave. So this account is gonna self destruct by the end of the weekend.

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

@TheOnion I just think it is time to really ask the question, what about Breakfast at Tiffany’s?

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

@sindonne Man that was Pedro in his prime level.

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

Parents, check your kids’ candy. I just found a dead pedophile in a Snickers.

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

@BryanHoch I think people are not offering enough respect to a team that was really, really good in the previous century.

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

I know this makes no sense on a million different fronts, but come on…

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

What if the answer to Mac or Zappe is Tom Fucking Brady.

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

This is legitimately hilarious.

[The Times and Sunday Times @thetimes]

🔺 NEW: Dame Judi Dench, the Oscar-winner who is one of Britain’s most distinguished actresses, has accused The Crown of “crude sensationalism” and said the Netflix series about the royal family is “cruelly unjust”
https://t.co/Nx0YvGjcoe

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

I am aware that Blake Lively and Blake Shelton are different famous people who do different things but that’s the limit of my knowledge.

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And binging reruns of The Wire, pull up this play,
And watch again, and dream of that Pagano day
Your Colts had once, and of dipshittery deep

[This Day In Sports Clips @TDISportsClips]

October 18, 2015: The Colts fake punt Catastrophe.

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

@Hawk This is clearly just a copy of Mel Kiper’s draft sheet

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

His arm was clearly going forward when Garrett made contact. That’s a bizarrely bad call.

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

@thrasherxy It is worth noting that you are really arguing against a system that was largely eliminated by the TCJA of 2017. Since those restrictions the interest deduction is only claimed at all by 17% of US homeowners, and does not apply on any amount over $750k.
https://t.co/ffltQgvecC

[Tulsi Gabbard 🌺 @TulsiGabbard]

I can no longer remain in today’s Democratic Party that is now under the complete control of an elitist cabal of warmongers driven by cowardly wokeness, who divide us by racializing every issue & stoke anti-white racism, actively work to undermine our God-given freedoms, are…

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

Loved when Matt Murdock explained that he does a lot of pro bono work for people in Hell’s Kitchen. Like he’s representing people who got wheat flour in their gluten free waffles at that new brunch place across from the other brunch place.

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

Gen X knows, nobody should go to jail for just swingin’ on the flipitty-flop with a wacky-tobaccy cigarette.

[Mike Mc @mmceach476]

Dank Brandon

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

Pretty fired up about Iron Heart in the Black Panther. She’s awesome. Now if she had AI Tony Stark I would give Marvel all the money.

[Pitiable Fool @AllowedFool]

During this pandemic, I seen a lot of changing. And if I can take a Moderna shot…then maybe all the Pfizer Pfam can take a Moderna shot too.