Andrew Michaels

My actual good accounts are IG and TikTok, this is just shitposting into the void.

[Andrew Michaels @AndrewJMichaels]

No he's just fucking old you absolute weirdo?

[Bri @manyroomsdiary]

Ozempic faces and bodies are sallow and uncanny because the subject has not deliberately chosen to take the necessary sacrificial steps in a process normally required to lose weight, which entails a consistency that showcases itself as an act of self love. People who lose weight with that healthy attentiveness to their bodies tend to glow. However the Ozempic lab rats are using chemical force to numb their bodies of their natural sensations (hunger pangs) in order to lose weight rapidly, which is a dismissive, destructive act of hatred against the self. So then it becomes this Faustian situation in which that self hatred is easily translated into appearance and expression, making them look like dead eyed corpses in spite of the thinness. All pharmaceuticals are like this

[Andrew Michaels @AndrewJMichaels]

You don't want to be a tradwife you just hate your job.

[Andrew Michaels @AndrewJMichaels]

@JoyceCarolOates It's about that time there was an evil tree and Obama got trapped in it and Biden had to oil him up so he could get out. 2011, I think, huge news story.

[Andrew Michaels @AndrewJMichaels]

@wandasattorney Look, if you put a big talking monkey in a movie, I will watch it. Idk what is hard to understand about this.

[latke @latkedelrey]

Anne Rice dropping that "gay man in a woman's body" truth hits different!

[Andrew Michaels @AndrewJMichaels]

Call me Billy the way HE Bob on my Thornton happy pride month

[Andrew Michaels @AndrewJMichaels]

I'm like Socrates if he only had sex with age appropriate guys

[leo of arakko says 🔺RESIST🔺 @arakkosuperstar]

there was a tweet going around about this but people really don’t see fiction as storytelling anymore, they see it as objective reporting of actual events happening in other worlds. what does “losing to the plot” even mean? why are you even here?

[Andrew Michaels @AndrewJMichaels]

Going to therapy (to tell my therapist my gay thoughts)

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

when the online rightwinger starts talking about how classical heroes were manly and stoic and paragons of virtue you have to realise theyre not actually talking about achilles or odysseus but about master chief from halo 2

[Andrew Michaels @AndrewJMichaels]

Nightmare on Elm St 2 so underrated

[Keifer @DannyVegito]

imagine freeing one slave in your entire life and it’s Hitler

[Jordan Fish @jwordfish]

These guys wearing shirts on a waterslide has always been one of the wackest images.

[cam @spitemeter]

underrated detail of this classic image: the screenshot is of a 3 minutes old private post with 1 like. who did she unwisely trust?

[onion person @CantEverDie]

this discourse is one of the biggest mass psychosis events i think i’ve witnessed outside of politics in a long time i genuinely cannot believe how mad people are about his correct comments

[Joyce Carol Oates @JoyceCarolOates]

Twitter is the place for nonentities classifying entities colossal as those redwoods you, squatting below, can't see the tops of.

[liliam꩜ @spittingclots]

guy who has only ever seen women in the context of pornography: Getting a lot of porn vibes here

[Janus Films @janusfilms]

No.

[Rachel McCartney @RachelMComedy]

Never mind

[Ian Goodrum @isgoodrum]

He unambiguously commits rape in the Season 2 premiere.