Never let them weaponize your empathy against you

I've been an #Emergency and #ICU nurse 8yrs. I've traveled NY to CA, chasing the worst of #COVID and taking care of the sickest patients. Taking some time off.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

How do we draw the line between 'fighting for life' vs 'prolonging suffering.' That line is personal, and rooted in cultural and religious values, so I can only speak for myself.
This is a list of things I have as my wishes and have communicated to my loved ones:
🧵

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@olsonplanner I bought an $80 foam fold up mattress. It makes staying in Hotel-Subaru much more comfortable

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@AdamSinger At least his parents are supporting themselves. Some of us are needing to financially support our parents AND keep our noses above water.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

Hospital I’m leaving: car break ins at the parking lot constitute 10% of city car break ins.
New contract: we do sometimes have problems with bears hanging out in the ambulance bay.
New adventures 🤣🤣🤣☠️

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@nursekelsey I wonder if they will come back. I kept my sanity by taking long breaks like this, but so far have come back to bedside. So far.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@killersumobunny @olsonplanner As a traveler nurse, I decided not to do percentage based. Goal is to invest 50k/year X 5 yrs including 401k/ROTH.
And then I’ll be set to take a lower paying staff job again.
But I started with my monthly budget to find those numbers.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@plantobsessedRN This is the policy pretty much everywhere (I’ve worked at 17 hospitals) Some unit culture doesn’t care— which I support. But it’s almost always the policy.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@ramit My parents approach was chaotic, everything that can go wrong will attitude. One crisis to the next, waiting for the next random hustle to work out.
I wish I had learned that it’s possible to make enough money that you feel safe and have enough.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@ramit Semi jokingly $11k for a week long backpacking trip.
But that’s because I turned down a really lucrative contract to do it.
Opportunity cost is real!
But the mental health break was absolutely required.

[Ramit Sethi @ramit]

Hi, as someone w/a top 10 @netflix show on money, please know:

1. It's OK to buy coffee
2. We should raise taxes on the rich (including me)
3. Build WAY more housing of all kinds, especially for minorities, the young, & the poor/MC, who have been systematically disenfranchised

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@MomRobe I like Timbuk2 brand

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@danisha_jenkins Kaiser is definitely a capital beast and gets it’s money from both individuals and Medicaid, Medi-cal, so still partially govt funded.
I’m not quite sure how to think about it all, but it’s been interesting to 🤔

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@danisha_jenkins I’m finishing a Kaiser contract and it’s been interesting to see how much LESS they limit extra scans and tests in the ER.
Sore throat: CT scan. Unspecific Lactate of 2.0: sepsis work up. Need d50: crack the code cart no problem.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@danisha_jenkins To be honest, they are pretty bad at the “in extremitis” or the care of the very critically pt compared to even places with fewer resources.
But they seem to have a much better than average preventative care model.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@danisha_jenkins I imagine it’s in part because the patients, staff and insurance are more of a closed system. So the benefit of good care early is preventing the costly care later.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@ask_aubry This is why I have a variety of fake names across social media. Because nurses get weird stalkers.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@ramit @netflix I’m so sad for her. She did nothing wrong and is so thoughtful.
I personally would have also been shocked and uncomfortable if I was surprised to find my partner was so wealthy, but would have also known to own my insecurities and work to get over them for a lovely partner.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@nursekelsey 1 in 10 people who get COVID get long COVID and at least xx people a day in this county (look up your local numbers) are catching COVID.
But their risk tolerance is clearly different than yours, so I don’t know that a fact based argument is the best strategy

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

@ramit You once told a couple to optimize for magic. It’s a lens I try on as often as possible.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

HCWs that don’t hate your job, what do you value most?
I’m struggling to define my next move.

[Never let them weaponize your empathy against you @AnneRN2020]

I don’t think I can go staff at a hospital where my skills will slowly decline. Even though the people are nice, the $$ is good…
I just want higher acuity/more challenge…