Bryse Yonts

* insert smart and witty comment about myself here, followed by subtle comment that conveys my ability to produce mediocre jokes.

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

@overtime Strat man

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

After a 7 year hiatus, I’m coming back and saying you should be watching @WrexhamFX. As much as I want to not like @VancityReynolds it’s damn near impossible.

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

@jasonsudeikis first thing first, create a Instagram handle. Second, Ted Lasso is amazing. Fantastic job.

[Fruit of the Loom @FruitOfTheLoom]

Big thanks to @TravisPastrana for taking part in our #XGames #TuckTest! Check out our video recap.
https://t.co/vIfiFdJQoe

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

@JoseCanseco I am here in my house not playing any cards. What are the Vegas odds you loose a finger tonight? I want in on that.

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

@sallyelegant it's called Kentucky

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

Remove trending topics. We could have original tweets and no one would have to scroll through 346 terrible iterations of #PetGangs

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

Remember when people still cared about baseball, I think it was called stickball then.

[Jane @ZanyJaney11]

I'll wear headphones connected to nothing in order to get out of a conversation on a plane.

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

Ah, April 15th. A nice reminder that we all truly only get a small stipend at the end of the day.

[Jes @JesKeepSwimming]

It's too bad I didn't win the Powerball. I was really looking forward to buying 3 days' worth of groceries from Whole Foods.

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

That feeling when you get to work in the morning and you realize your out of coffee K cups.

[CatherineLMK @CatherineLMK]

*finally thinks of clever Super Bowl tweet*

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

Nothing like a #snowday to make you wish even harder for that $500 million dollar payday with a Powerball ticket.

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

The heavier, sweaty Chevy Chase from #SNL40 appears to be responding well to no work and bulk packages of pop tarts from Costco.

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

@JonahHill did Stevie Wonder give you a friends discount on your haircut?

[West Lee @NotthatAdamWest]

The Oxford Dictionary named "selfie" the word of the year. This is truly a victory for 20 year old white girls everywhere.

[Bryse Yonts @BYonts]

Self proclaimed "genius" thinks Kim K deserves a Hollywood star....wow. #kimmel