Jason Patterson

Founder @JewelAgency | Unrepentant Smartass | Fuck Elon Musk | Follow me to cheer me up | Also found here:

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

Me explaining to the Marketing Director that the organic content is only getting shared by our own employees.

[Grumpy Agency Guy @GrumpyAgencyGuy]

I regret to inform you that the LinkedIn wankers have discovered the World Cup.

[Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth]

There’s a 1 in 5 chance of dying from heart disease.

People: “That won’t happen to me!”

There’s a 1 in 292,000,000 chance of winning the Powerball.

People: “You never know!”

[Miss Ally @MissAlly_01]

Hey! Can I pick which two people to milk?

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

Everyday I see absolutely deranged thing on X. It's amazing how we get used to it.

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

People call that successful networking.

[The Daily Mash @thedailymash]

Ethnic minority man who shortened his name immediately beloved by gammons ⬇️

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

According to "No Time to Die," this is how mothers dress when they're hanging around the house with their five-year-old, not expecting company.

[Jewel Content Marketing Agency @JewelAgency]

"So You Want To Be a LinkedIn Bigshot"
https://t.co/V1YrMUz48n

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

I'm seeing a lot of posts saying Mitch is dead and no corrections from Twitter.

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

If by some miracle the US mens soccer team ever did the World Cup, dozens of people would attend the parade.

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

Claude wants to be a nerd.
ChatGPT wants to be one of the cool kids.

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

Who wants to guess which is which?

[Campaign @Campaignmag]

Meta appoints new CMO and creates first chief data officer role https://t.co/eeizSIvfjO

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

Its age.

[Aliens About Humans @HumansExplained]

Which part of your human body would you like to change?

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

Villain points fingers at politicians.

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

America is getting old.
Murder is mostly a young man's crime.

[Sasha Gusev @SashaGusevPosts]

2. The murder rate is at the lowest level since 1900.

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

That you've never heard of.

[William Freakin @notcousinwayne]

If you ever catch yourself asking where an actor has been, they’re on season 3 of an Apple TV show

[Thomas Massie @RepThomasMassie]

Is America ready for my term limit legislation titled “Three Strokes and You’re Out” ?

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

Remember that Simpsons episode where the US embassy in Australia rigged the toilets to flush "the correct American way?" Well, we're there.

[Jason Patterson @content_grinder]

Nolan has gotten a fuckton of free Odyssey publicity. More than he would gotten with some stuffy historical epic with an all-white cast.