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Stab your face
@Captstabbyface
Poop jokes, lots and lots of poop jokes.
Joined May 2015
436
Following
531
Followers
16.1K
Posts
Pinned Tweet
Stab your face
@Captstabbyface
about 10 years ago
My favorite rape joke is when the would-be rapist gets stabbed in the neck and the would-be victim laughs and laughs
Stab your face
@Captstabbyface
almost 9 years ago
The zombies caught up with me again. I'll be back.
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Her Tall Boots
@fuzzlime
almost 9 years ago
you sneeze like a girl
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ
@Bob_Janke
almost 9 years ago
I'm sorry I made fun of Canada's space program I've never been to space either
Who to follow
D. Humann
@dhumann
Converting energy into imagery ™
David's Soul
@david_tull
Abridged pontificator.
Wick Amble 🧀
@RICKSH0W
If I don’t make a joke about it, I’ll die.
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Enrique Shockwave
@UNDEADTRESOR
over 10 years ago
Trump wants to ban Muslims but if we learned anything from Prohibition it's that people will just make Muslims in their bathtubs.
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Tony
@tsm560
almost 9 years ago
Wait Shia LeBeouf is an asshole? Why didn't anybody tell me.
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Depressing Thoughts
@Time4Depression
almost 9 years ago
You're dead to me. It's cool though because I'm dead to me too.
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ
@Bob_Janke
almost 9 years ago
stop saying welp
Stab your face
@Captstabbyface
almost 9 years ago
@CapitalOne
Would you worthless fuckstains stop sending out junk mail?
Stab your face
@Captstabbyface
almost 9 years ago
It would've been funny if that black cop had shot Shia LaBeouf. But to be honest, it'd be funny if ANYONE shot Shia LeBeouf.
Stab your face
@Captstabbyface
almost 9 years ago
@WillieNelson
Is it OK to tongue kiss your weed dealer?
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Annie Hatfield
@AnneHatfieldVO
almost 9 years ago
For entertainment, may I recommend our post office? It's an excellent place for standing and looking across the street at the bank.
Stab your face
@Captstabbyface
almost 9 years ago
Until Conservatives and Liberals realize that both Ted Nugent AND Alec Baldwin are worthless shitbags, there will be no peace.
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Andrew Nadeau
@TheAndrewNadeau
almost 9 years ago
My favorite part of Rocky was when Sylvester Stallone sounds like he has peanut butter in his mouth for 2 hours.
Captstabbyface
retweeted
mark
@TheCatWhisprer
almost 9 years ago
The average person swallows 8 Spider-Man reboots in their sleep.
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Bubbles n' Booze
@BubblesnBooze
almost 9 years ago
Never trust a man who cleans his dick with baby wipes.
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Kozlowski SPS🐑
@ljbama22
almost 9 years ago
3 from right has a dong medal. That's eliteness https://t.co/E9V4qhMFLE
Stab your face
@Captstabbyface
almost 9 years ago
Do people from Texas not know that the rest of us don't give a rat's ass about Texas?
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Smallz got a reefer
@smallzBballz
almost 9 years ago
In 5th grade I was one of the tallest kids in class. Then everybody grew but me. I'm the size of a 5th grader forever (mentality of one too)
Captstabbyface
retweeted
Lindsay
@Rollinintheseat
almost 9 years ago
I want to start a brass band called Tuba Toothpaste.
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