carl

my profile pic isn't an NFT, a witch put a hex on me

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

So, you've decided to relitigate the 2016 primary

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

@questionableway @jonlovett okay you weren't responsible for pokémon go to the polls but how about this one?

[Jon Lovett @jonlovett]

I once again say:

- I did NOT write Pokemon go to the polls and I was not a speechwriter on this campaign!

- "Pokemon Go to the Polls" was a GREAT line that people are still talking about a decade later!

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

Folks...,

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

I’ve written a book about my time as President. It’s called PROMISE ME, AMERICA. It’s coming out November 17th and is available for preorder now. 
https://t.co/uMINr9efxS
@littlebrown

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

And your retirement plan is to collect these 6 infinity stones?

That's right, Dave.

And how many do you have so far?

Well, I had 2.

What do you mean you had 2?

Well see, I loaned 1 of them to Loki.

Loki Laufeyson? The trickster god who betrays everyone?

That's right, Dave.

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

Tom Scott is always so stunned and delighted that people let him into cool places and give him tours, as if he is blissfully unaware that he's been the world's preeminent "go tour cool places" guy for over a decade

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

@xenocryptsite Thinking back to when both Agents of SHIELD and Supergirl shoehorned "Nevertheless, she persisted" into their scripts

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

If I had a nickel for every time a @VoiceOfOBrien character got trapped in an orb after a campaign, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.

[Critical Role @CriticalRole]

IT'S GONNA BE WUNDERBAR 🇩🇪 ❤️

When a failed experiment in the Folding Halls of Halast corrupts Caleb Widogast, the rest of the Mighty Nein must brave a twisted dimensional dungeon to recover their friend, or become part of the twisted labyrinth forever...

Peep the killer key art for [PROJEKT] Funball before our Berlin LIVE show kicks off NEXT WEEK on July 6th!

LEARN MORE ⬇️
https://t.co/7bwu7PovDz

[Artwork by https://t.co/JvBLWjg0kk 🎨 ]

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

I do not believe in citizenship.

[Stephen Miller @StephenM]

If you believe a child born to a foreign mother flying over US airspace is an automatic American then you do not believe in citizenship.

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

@jindu__ star fruit?

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

@Bryan_Gray1776 @TheJFreakinC

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

Today's News: Mad tyrant turns national monument neon green out of spite

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

This fitted sheet is asking the important questions

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

Do not send rescue, I'm exactly where I want to be

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

We are Vox Machina and we're here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

@cljack So a crazy thing about the international blood market is that a TON of it is American because we're the only large country that allows paying for blood donations. By dollar value, blood is our 9th largest export. So there's a very good chance a Korean hospital has plenty on hand.

[Washington State DOT @wsdot]

WELCOME TO WASHINGTON, SOCCER FANS. Get acquainted with our state via this highly accurate and mostly-to-scale map.

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

@suchnerve @KoochDog I got my EV about 4 years ago and ran it exclusively off a regular wall outlet for the first 2 years with no issue. Eventually I got a 40 amp circuit and NEMA 14-50 outlet installed and installed a 32 amp L2 charger myself (very easy to do!) but it's totally unnecessary.

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

@onionweigher hmm
yeah
https://t.co/8028DXbJay

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

"the sun is making the Americans crazy warmongers" sounds like the premise of a 2010s Doctor Who episode

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

@suchnerve @evanrusz55 Me: mechanically opening all the Spotify links to add them to a playlist, a very neurotypical thing to do

Vivian: posts the apple music and spotify links in a different order than all the other posts

Me: 😲

[carl @CarlTweetsStuff]

@WhiteHouse Gas is $6/gal btw.