Carson

[Carson @CarsonMck]

Got worried about losing Twitter material when I'm no longer pregnant, then realized I'm literally giving birth to endless Twitter material.

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@mattereschke Before or after brushing?

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@brooklynROFL Ok wowww sold. Do you just take a pill before bedtime?

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@brooklynROFL Tell me more. I’m melatonin gang and starting to think it’s not worth the nightmares.

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@brooklynROFL I’ll be honest, I zoomed. (Still looks good)

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@ncktmrly We talkin’ LA Rosecrans?

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@cmacmitch Baby doesn’t drop till the album does.

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@niiiigel @VolvoCarUSA Ok humble brag!!!

[Carson @CarsonMck]

Mayo. Garlic aioli.

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@brooklynrofl Normalize this.

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@stephen_walter I’ve tried to understand this multiple different times.

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@MegMorleyWalter Any real friend would know that you would never use that many exclamation points OR question marks.

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@jessesem I mean if you look at it a certain way...yeah. Sleeping under all those fluorescent lights?? No thanks. Prob could use a bunch of coupons though.

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@brooklynrofl Oooooo babyyyy

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@taybrettl 👀

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@mattereschke 😐

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@mnmnadams We’ve been using the drive-thru at the VA hospital lot and they usually have openings. Reserve your appt on the curative site.

[Martin Herlihy @martinmherlihy]

Husband sees color for the first time! Surprised my colorblind husband with the glasses for his BIRTHDAY!!!

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@keywilliamss We moved out of NYC @ 5am & when I went to drop the key I realized the office was right next to Levain bakery. 1 of the bakers was out smoking & I mentioned how I wished it open so I could get 1 last🍪. Said give me 1 sec and came back out w/a bag full for our cross-country drive

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@ehbaier Right? This felt personally offensive.

[Carson @CarsonMck]

@DewdropW @MegMorleyWalter Gotta disagree with you here, pal. Any good Instagram husband knows the importance of hitting them angles and Stephen nailed it here.