Chester Forbes

[James Jenks @BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ]

My old boss did a lot of stupid things, like, proper mental, but the funniest was when he was on the roof of our shop, and looked like he was about to leap the 6-foot distance to one of the other buildings.

I said, "Jim, there's no way you'll make that jump."

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Could we make the tweet font a little larger? I’m trying to drive.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

*me getting my oil changed*

mechanic: “we’ve also notice that—“

me:

[Buck Sexton @BuckSexton]

Jeans might be the single most overrated item in the world today

So many better, comfier options for pants

[St. Paul Pork Product @DGR3XL]

When Shania Twain says “Let’s Go, Girls” and I’m two rooms away

[Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1]

After Bin Laden was killed, a teacher told us they buried his remains at sea and another kid just nodded and said "Like Megatron"

[Wall Street Mav @WallStreetMav]

Guys updating their online dating profile pictures after the new UPS driver contract was announced.

[bobby @bobby]

you know that dish that's not quite a plate not quite a bowl. it's like a deep frisbee. that's the best dish.

[Jack Langston | The Darts Referee @TheDartsReferee]

This is the greatest sporting moment I’ve ever seen

[Anthony Pompliano 🌪 @APompliano]

Kid just broke the Rubik’s cube world record at 3.13 seconds.

Greatness comes in all walks of life!!

[Tiffany Fong @TiffanyFong]

we’re so fucked

[pj @pjayevans]

I remember looking into a VCR as a kid and wanting to live in there

[Brittany Cabriales @brit_cab]

I still think about this

[Cam Heartless @camharless]

every american president, but they're all cool and they all sport a mullet

46. Joe Biden

[Rod 🙂👍 @ThanksThoth]

Where the fuck is this thing taking me

[Scott Kelly @StationCDRKelly]

Space gorilla making a comeback today on twitter.

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

I’m able to control the micro plastics in my body

[Jack Vening @jack_vening]

Reminder that there's no "proper" way to do CPR and it's totally normal to have your own style and technique. Be you!