Clark Williams

San Diego 🌮 & Philly 🧀🥩 Open Mic Comic 🎤🤡 Former Cougar Hunter 🐯🔫 I don’t bring running shoes on vacation 👟🏖

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@craigpsutton Mario Puzo wrote 1 book then Coppola asked him to write The Godfather screenplay. After success of the movie, Puzo was asked to write The Godfather 2. Puzo bought a book on screenwriting - the preface said The Godfather was the best screenplay ever. Puzo put it down and wrote #2

[H. Foley @HFoleyComedy]

Real thin line between micro dosing and tripping face.

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

Jalen Reagor deserves more jail time than Henry Ruggs for those drops today.

#PhiladelphiaEagles #FlyEaglesFly

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@KevinRyanComedy “Whaddyas mean I can’t rip burnies here? Is this a school zone, or some shit? Don’t yous need signs up or somethin’, lady?”

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@HFoleyOnIce You look like you tried to dress as Henry Foley for Halloween! 😂🤣🎃

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@StephenKing’s first novel - bound in the skin of a dead man, and given to the devil (himself).

@HocusPocus1993

#StephenKing #hocuspocus #comedy #itsjustabunchofhocuspocus #Halloween

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

What’s your favorite adjective?

#comedy #englishlanguage #adjectives

I’ll start, and I’m fat - “pan-fried”

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@roywoodjr Great list! On that note - why are the over/under washer/dryer combos such trash? The washer is the size of one of those mosquito candle buckets, and the dryer takes 3 hours to dry a load of towels.

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@craigpsutton

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@Billyhottakes We probably all get blocked everyday by a guy that looks like this

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@AB is beating up the Eagles secondary, like they moved him into his home in Florida.

#NFL #TNFonFOX #Buccaneers #Eagles ##FlyEaglesFly

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@KevinRyanComedy They can’t waive a stick at my favorite president, CEO, and Head Bozo!

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

If my 5 year old niece can get into my iPhone (which is supposed to have biometric security measures), and fentanyl overdoses are running rampant in the streets, what’s the point of having childproof medicine bottles and safeties on lighters?

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@columtyrrell WHAT’RE YA DOIN’?

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@DustinNickerson They always have that hair color too

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

Hunter Renfrow is Bill Belichick’s wet dream.

@TomBrady @HunterRenfrow @ClemsonFB @NFL @MacJones_10 @çä♏️ńë🔱✝️øñ @Patriots @Raiders

#football #comedy #NFL #MNF #Vegas #Raiders #Patriots #Pats #Rads

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

Can we get a mental status update on Aunt Tuddy? She seems like the type of broad to pick up a lot of “ideas” from Facebook. How’s she doing without staying connected with some of her ex-insurrectionist friends?

@AreYouGarbage @KevinRyanComedy @HFoleyOnIce #AYG #AuntTuddy

[Clark Williams @Clark_Comedy]

@yannispappas